TNA iMPACT! Review 4/16

With only 3 days until TNA's annual (Lethal) "Lockdown" PPV, something had to happen on TNA iMPACT! in order for us to be remotely interested in buying it right? Well rest assured, something did happen. An entire 2 hour show happened. We were promised from "Double-J" that there would be a major announcement on iMPACT! that would change the main event of "Lockdown" significantly. Team Jarrett was going to have a new member for the PPV.

Earlier in the day, there were rumors of text messages being sent to fans (who must've subscribed to TNA's mobile news feed -- which makes me wonder the kind of person who absolutely needs TNA news at every second of the day...) claiming that "Double-J" said that the person be selected for Team Jarrett was a "former TNA champion." My fingers were crossed for Ken Shamrock....

Anyway, let's get to the show.

Chris Sabin vs. Homicide vs. Naito

Sabin accompanied by his Motor City Machineguns partner came out first. I can't help but feel like The Miz and John Morrison as a tag team were copies of the Machineguns....

Sterotypical Japanese music started to play so I instantly knew it was No Limit. Why is it that wrestlers "from Japan" always have to have the same music? Wouldn't it be much more effective to have No Limit come out to "Make 'em say uhh" by Master P? They are "No Limit" after all. LAX then came out to complete the participants in the match.

It was a pretty intense match overall with tons of acrobatical maneuvers. One thing I can say is that while Homicide can certainly perform offensively, he's terrible at taking bumps. There was one instance where he flew over the steel barrier and into the crowd. There was a wall about 6 feet away which he was supposed to hit head first into. The move came up short, so he took about 5 steps running himself into the wall. It was pretty hilarious. Throught the entire match though, Homicide would brush off moves pulled on him as if he were the Ultimate Warrior (Warrior got hell for this from other wrestlers). I will give him this though, his 187 finisher is fantastic as it was performed beautifully for the victory.

Taylor Wilde, Awesome Kong, Raisha Saeed vs. Beautiful People

"Sandwich Break." You know my thoughts on women's wrestling. Although, Velvet Sky is actually a "knockout."

ODB and Cody Deaner vs. Abyss and Daffney

Althought ODB is technically a man (at least TNA would like us to think so), this match involved Knockouts so it was another "sandwich break." Peanut butter and jelly this time.....

SIDE NOTE: You secretly think ODB's hot right? Right?

Kurt Angle vs. Mystery Man(?)

"Double-J" came out to the ring and introduced Christopher Daniels as the new member of Team Jarrett. The crowd went crazy. I was pretty happy with the decision. Although Daniels looks like an unpainted member of the Blue Man Group, I dig his wrestling ability. This was a fantastic match with an even better ending. Daniels appeared to have rolled up Angle for the win, but after Angle repeatedly complained, "Double-J" came out and looked at the replay which clearly showed that Angle's shoulder wasn't on the mat. "Double-J" restarted the match and Angle won. Good surprising ending to the match which was a breath of fresh air. A clean match with a little drama for once!

I wasn't that impressed with this edition of iMPACT!(!) It's the show before a PPV, so it should rock right? It didn't in my opinion because two matches had knockouts, and Balls Mahoney and Brother "spike dudley" Runt should never take up air time. With that said, the PPV does look pretty interesting so I'll check out the encore because I have a commitment with my wife on Sunday night. It's called life.

Random Notes:

- Is it weird that AJ Styles is the "Legends Champion?" I'm just saying....

- The voice of TNA (narrator) is fantastic.

- The camerawork of TNA iMPACT! makes me dizzy.

- MEM's (Main Event Mafia) entrance music is ridiculous. It's a poor man's version of "The Godfather" theme, only it was done on a 20 dollar toy keyboard.

- It's hard to take Suicide seriously when we played as him in the videogame. Although, I'm always asking for new gimmicks so I can't fault TNA. Suicide is pretty damn interesting.

- Promo's seem better on TNA than WWE. The wrestler's seem more into it. It could be the intimate setting of the "IMPACT Zone" in Orlando...

- Funny how in the WWE wrestlers show up in a limo or monster truck, but in TNA, it's a taxi cab.

- Cornett's office is the only "office" that makes sense in wrestling because 90% of TNA iMPACT! shows are in Orlando.

- TNA is now on iTunes. They're really good at promoting their company (XBOX LIVE and iTunes FTW!)

- ODB's flask is awesome. You know there's nothing in there so it reminds me of being 3 and playing with "fun food."

- "Doulbe-J's" new DVD doesn't look bad at all

- Team 3D (Dudley Boys) considered a "legendary tag team?" Really?

- Have you heard of the IWGP titles? I didn't think so....

- I feel sad for Mick Foley. He can still promo, but those sweats are starting to look like spandex, which isn't a good thing.

- "Lions and tigers and bears, Oh My!" - quote on TNA iMPACT!

- Sting wants to look like the Joker (purple robe)

- I hate wrestlers who are just paid to bleed (Balls Mahoney and Brother "spike dudley" Runt)

- Angle's weight loss is dramatic. Is he gearing up for a MMA run?

- "Umaga" Joe

- Danny Bonaduce....is this TNA's answer to Mickey Rourke in the WWE? If so = Fail