WWE vs. TNA -- Who Won this Week? 4/20 - 4/24

If you're wondering what this is about, please read this entry.

The WWE wins for me this week because of WWE Superstars (the show). I ALMOST want to give it to TNA because of last night's Smackdown!, but iMPACT! was promo city this week. I have the WWE up 1-0 over TNA en route to next month's PPV battle. What do you guys think? Sound off via the poll to the right and I'll combine those votes with my score to get a final outcome for this week!

TNA iMPACT! Review 4/23 (Promo Edition)

Coming off a usually successful (maybe - TNA's PPV buyrates are down 20%) annual PPV in "Lockdown," TNA's first iMPACT! had alot to deliver. Did they? I really don't think so. I heard mixed reviews for "Lockdown" (I wasn't able to watch). Some loved it, some hated it, but one thing's for sure, people were talking about it which I think is all TNA asks. The big stink, make that a sweatpants stink, after the PPV was the fact that Mick Foley was the NEW TNA Champion. I for one didn't mind that too much (pre tonight's iMPACT!), but now, I really want this belt on someone else, anyone else! Let's get to the show, shall we?

iMPACT! opened up with the founder, Jeff Jarrett coming into the ring to introduce Mick Foley as the new TNA Champion, and to hand him his new belt. Mick then came down to the ring in an amazing outfit that was classic Mick. Foley was wearing a suit jacket, black shirt underneath, and sweatpants (could've been dress pants, but I was watching in SD b/c we don't get Spike in Canada in HD). Classy Mick, classy. Before any of you get on me for knocking Mick's style choice, or say "he always wears stuff like that, wake up," I KNOW THIS. That doesn't excuse the fact that he needs to be a bit more presentable on TV. It worked when he was a mid-carder, but if he's the flagship (champion), he needs to lead by example.

Foley thanks a few people for the victory, the cameraman "Dirk," and Sting who he said would probably be missing from action for a few weeks. To his credit, Mick was doing a fantastic job hamming it up in front of the camera like he always does "right here, in Orlando, Florida!" His face was jacked, as he claimed numerous times throughout the show (annoyingly) that he had 25 stitches put into him!

Jarrett, not amused, didn't hesitate to book a title defense at TNA's next PPV "Sacrifice" in a 4-way match against 3 other opponents of Jarrett's choice. The gimmick? Since the PPV is called "Sacrifice," appropriately, Jarrett would be choosing the 3 opponents based on what they're willing to "sacrifice" for an opportunity at the TNA championship. Mick wasn't too happy about the decision, and then said that they were business partners and that since he booked him, he (Mick) was going to book Jarrett tonight in a match against Scott Steiner.

blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Honestly, this promo lasted 15 minutes. I was tired of it. It seriously seemed forced, and it was evident that the two were trying to take up time because they'd repeat, and repeat again as if the folks in attendance, and us watching at home, didn't understand it the first time. We got the stipulations, we understand what's going on. I think the talent is partially to blame for the stigma put on wrestling fans that we're dumb. If you treat us like we're dumb, outsiders have ammo.

One more thing about this promo. Foley called the match he booked between Jarrett and Steiner a "Cactus Jack Smack Attack." BARF

"sandwich break" - Beautiful People promo

In yet another promo, West interviewed Team 3D after their recent win on "Lockdown." Team 3D took the opportunity to slam the WWE for the lack of focus on tag team competition (which I agree with) and announced that they were going to put on a tag team tournament for a shot at their titles and to bring a greater emphasis on tag team competition in TNA. They named the tournament the "Team 3D Tag Team Invitational Tournament."

Beer Money Inc. vs. Lethal Consequences (Quarterfinal match in the T3DTTIT)

My god! Even the acronym for the tournament is huge. This was the first of two quarterfinal matches in the tournament. They both were the best matches of the night. I really like the tag teams in TNA. Beer Money Inc. used great teamwork, and worked the ring well while Lethal Consequences mixed in their high energy, aerial maneuvers. Beer Money won the match with their devastating finisher (DWI - greatest finisher name ever). If you want to watch tag team wrestling, watch TNA!

Guess what happened next? You're right, another promo. This time MEM was up. They were interviewed to get their thoughts on the announced match between Steiner and Jarrett. Angle began talking, but Scott cut him off. Let's get one thing straight. Scott Steiner is a LEGEND on the mic. He called Jarrett a "sorry son of a bitch" that drew awkward looks from Angle and the rest of the crew. You never know what you're going to get with Steiner, which is why he's great.

Right after the MEM promo came ANOTHER promo. This time with Jarrett. You know what? I'm not using anymore space in this review to talk about promos. Why you ask? Because there were 12 of them. TWELVE! There were only 6 matches on the card tonight, yet 12 promos. Yes, things happened during those promos, so I'll give you a quick rundown to save sanity.

Jarrett promo - unsuccessful because of Eric Young interrupting

Mick Foley promo - "CROSS THE LINE CAM" was the worst waste of time I've ever witnessed. He went around his hometown flashing his TNA championship belt as if he were a god.

Kevin Nash and Booker T promo - their "sandwich breaks" (Sharmell and Jenna) got into a cat fight.

Jeff Jarrett promo - unsuccessful because a call came in about his daughter and school

1 HOUR MARK = 1 match, 9 promos

Kevin Nash vs. AJ Styles (TNA Legends Championship on the line)

Kevin Nash came out with an enormous hockey elbow pad over his right elbow (interesting). I was hoping he'd use it as a weapon Cowboy Bob Orton style... but he didn't. The match was going pretty well. Styles can get up! He has serious hops that make you believe he can actually compete with a guy like Nash. Unfortunately, the match ended in a DQ because Sharmell and Booker T came down to the ring. Sharmell tried to distract the ref while Booker T interfered, but the ref out of the corner of his eye caught Booker T (which the camera work displayed beautifully) and DQ'd Nash. This sparked a heated confrontation backstage between the two MEM members.

No Limit vs. Jethro Holliday and Eric Young (Quarterfinal match in the T3DTTIT)

I was actually pumped to see old Trevor Murdoch himself only with a new name, "Jethro Holliday" (same thing I guess). This match was a fantastic one that was similar to the previous tag match to open the show. Holliday can wrestle guys. He has great ring presence, and is very detailed in his craft. I think people recognized this about him while he was in the WWE. Holliday and Young scored the win, which helps push Eric Young a bit.

AJ Styles promo - Out comes "Umaga" Joe with a towel over his head (Taz(z) hint). In short, he tells Styles that he has no friends. :(

Dr. Stevie Richards promo - Abyss was Richards's guest on his couch. Wrestlecrap, but entertaining had there not been 2317390 promos already.

Chris Daniels promo - Daniels talks about being humbled while he was "fired" from TNA. He said that he couldn't stand watching the MEM, but his wife told him that he was exactly like that. I know Daniels is a talent, but what was said during this promo was quite possibly the dumbest thing ever. TNA, you have to push your guys for sure, but to say that Daniels is close to being in the same breath as Bret Hart from a technical perspective is ridiculous.

Another Mick Foley "CROSS THE LINE" promo

Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Steiner ("Cactus Jack Smack Attack" no DQ match)

I'm only a fan of "hardcore" matches when there's two extremely athletic guys in the ring (like the Hardy's). But when there's a lumbering Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett who has no business being in a hardcore match, it's a shitty way to end an evening. There was hardly any wrestling in this, but rather different ways to use the various weapons around the arena. Mick Foley supposedly "chose" the weapons that would be used in this match, and in typical sweatpants fashion, one of them was a pogo stick. Yes, a pogo stick. Steiner got on said pogo stick and hopped up and down a few times like an idiot to give Jarrett a bit of time to clothesline him. It was hilarious to watch what happened with the pogo stick, but c'mon TNA, you're better than that.

Another hilarious moment happened when Steiner took the lid of a trash can and hit Jarrett over the head with it. Jarrett didn't take the bump well. Instead, he moved his head down which led to Steiner not even connecting with Jarrett. It looked pretty awkward.

Jarrett won the match (of course).

After the match, MEM stormed the ring and they beat on Jarrett. Foley, who was doing color, ran in and hit Angle with a chair. He then hit Jarrett with a chair. The announce team then said that they were going to cut to a commercial break, but afterwards they'd hear Foley's thoughts on why he got involved.

After the break I think TNA forgot what they just said. Instead of Foley's thoughts, Jarrett was on the mic saying that Foley just made things personal.

Music hit, and Bobby Lashley came and just stood at the top of the ramp glaring at Jarrett while Angle smirked. Didn't Lashley do this very same thing at "Lockdown?" Instead it was iMPACT!, and the show ended.

Overall, besides the tag matches, the show was pretty disappointing. Not enough wrestling, too many promos, and a poor hardcore match to end the evening. I'm not giving TNA too much faith this week in winning the promotional TV show battle, but you guys get to vote (starting tomorrow) too, so maybe I'm just a jackass and wrong...

What did you think of tonight's TNA iMPACT!?

Random Notes:

- TNA does a fantastic job with interviews. They have someone interviewing them which leads to the wrestlers talking to the crowd and not to themselves.

- "peanut butter and jealousy sandwich" guess who said that? You're right, Foley.

- TNA wrestlers do a better job than WWE wrestlers in playing to the crowd. They appear to draw energy from them and acknowledge them which I think has been lost from the WWE for a while.

- During one of the "sandwich breaks," a plastic ladder was used.

- Does AJ Styles look a little like Jamie Noble?

- When No Limit came down to the ring, a fan in mic range yelled "USA-USA!" Thanks Toby Keith!

- Chris Daniels wore sunglasses in the promo which made him look like Paul Ellering.

- Have you seen TNA's promo for their "Sacrifice" PPV? What's with AJ Styles dressed as Marcus Phoenix in Gears of War?

- I know it's been talked about ad nauseum, but I can't help but think of the old Scott Steiner whenever I see him.

- Take a page from TNA WWE. Cut to a commercial during a match as few times as possible (TNA did it once tonight).

Wrestling Galore!

Just like last week, we'll be reviewing both WWE Superstars and TNA iMPACT! tonight. So check out Headlocks 4 Breakfast tomorrow for the full reviews of both shows!

I Want YOU to Help Select a Pay Per View!

First off, let me just say that my rhymes are DOPE!

Alright, now to the point of this post (besides showing a "sandwich break" in an "Uncle Sam" outfit). In these economic times, one must be super careful where and how they spend their money. I'm not saying I'm dirt poor, but I wanted to make a game of this. To be honest, only one brand actually deserves money each month, and in that EXTREMELY rare occasion that both PPVs are a lock for quality, I'll purchase both. But that probably won't happen because let's face it, both promotions don't bring it every month.

So here's how the game will work. Each week Headlocks 4 Breakfast will review Monday Night RAW, WWE Superstars, TNA iMPACT! and Friday Night Smackdown!. I'll then, at the end of each week give one promotion a nod over the other. So, if I think RAW, Smackdown and Superstars was better than iMPACT this week, I'll give the WWE a score of 1-0 and vice versa. "But that's not fair! TNA only has one show that's not a recap!" I took this into account. That's why I'm doing it American Idol style! Every Friday, after Friday Night Smackdown!, I'll post a poll asking you guys which promotion won this week. I'll then process that final poll vote with my own personal score and use a very super complicated method to pick a winner for the week (which I'll announce). Whoever wins the most amount of weeks before the PPVs, will win my cash and extremely prestigious review skills.

Make sense? If not, actually READ this story.

TNA iMPACT! Review 4/16

With only 3 days until TNA's annual (Lethal) "Lockdown" PPV, something had to happen on TNA iMPACT! in order for us to be remotely interested in buying it right? Well rest assured, something did happen. An entire 2 hour show happened. We were promised from "Double-J" that there would be a major announcement on iMPACT! that would change the main event of "Lockdown" significantly. Team Jarrett was going to have a new member for the PPV.

Earlier in the day, there were rumors of text messages being sent to fans (who must've subscribed to TNA's mobile news feed -- which makes me wonder the kind of person who absolutely needs TNA news at every second of the day...) claiming that "Double-J" said that the person be selected for Team Jarrett was a "former TNA champion." My fingers were crossed for Ken Shamrock....

Anyway, let's get to the show.

Chris Sabin vs. Homicide vs. Naito

Sabin accompanied by his Motor City Machineguns partner came out first. I can't help but feel like The Miz and John Morrison as a tag team were copies of the Machineguns....

Sterotypical Japanese music started to play so I instantly knew it was No Limit. Why is it that wrestlers "from Japan" always have to have the same music? Wouldn't it be much more effective to have No Limit come out to "Make 'em say uhh" by Master P? They are "No Limit" after all. LAX then came out to complete the participants in the match.

It was a pretty intense match overall with tons of acrobatical maneuvers. One thing I can say is that while Homicide can certainly perform offensively, he's terrible at taking bumps. There was one instance where he flew over the steel barrier and into the crowd. There was a wall about 6 feet away which he was supposed to hit head first into. The move came up short, so he took about 5 steps running himself into the wall. It was pretty hilarious. Throught the entire match though, Homicide would brush off moves pulled on him as if he were the Ultimate Warrior (Warrior got hell for this from other wrestlers). I will give him this though, his 187 finisher is fantastic as it was performed beautifully for the victory.

Taylor Wilde, Awesome Kong, Raisha Saeed vs. Beautiful People

"Sandwich Break." You know my thoughts on women's wrestling. Although, Velvet Sky is actually a "knockout."

ODB and Cody Deaner vs. Abyss and Daffney

Althought ODB is technically a man (at least TNA would like us to think so), this match involved Knockouts so it was another "sandwich break." Peanut butter and jelly this time.....

SIDE NOTE: You secretly think ODB's hot right? Right?

Kurt Angle vs. Mystery Man(?)

"Double-J" came out to the ring and introduced Christopher Daniels as the new member of Team Jarrett. The crowd went crazy. I was pretty happy with the decision. Although Daniels looks like an unpainted member of the Blue Man Group, I dig his wrestling ability. This was a fantastic match with an even better ending. Daniels appeared to have rolled up Angle for the win, but after Angle repeatedly complained, "Double-J" came out and looked at the replay which clearly showed that Angle's shoulder wasn't on the mat. "Double-J" restarted the match and Angle won. Good surprising ending to the match which was a breath of fresh air. A clean match with a little drama for once!

I wasn't that impressed with this edition of iMPACT!(!) It's the show before a PPV, so it should rock right? It didn't in my opinion because two matches had knockouts, and Balls Mahoney and Brother "spike dudley" Runt should never take up air time. With that said, the PPV does look pretty interesting so I'll check out the encore because I have a commitment with my wife on Sunday night. It's called life.

Random Notes:

- Is it weird that AJ Styles is the "Legends Champion?" I'm just saying....

- The voice of TNA (narrator) is fantastic.

- The camerawork of TNA iMPACT! makes me dizzy.

- MEM's (Main Event Mafia) entrance music is ridiculous. It's a poor man's version of "The Godfather" theme, only it was done on a 20 dollar toy keyboard.

- It's hard to take Suicide seriously when we played as him in the videogame. Although, I'm always asking for new gimmicks so I can't fault TNA. Suicide is pretty damn interesting.

- Promo's seem better on TNA than WWE. The wrestler's seem more into it. It could be the intimate setting of the "IMPACT Zone" in Orlando...

- Funny how in the WWE wrestlers show up in a limo or monster truck, but in TNA, it's a taxi cab.

- Cornett's office is the only "office" that makes sense in wrestling because 90% of TNA iMPACT! shows are in Orlando.

- TNA is now on iTunes. They're really good at promoting their company (XBOX LIVE and iTunes FTW!)

- ODB's flask is awesome. You know there's nothing in there so it reminds me of being 3 and playing with "fun food."

- "Doulbe-J's" new DVD doesn't look bad at all

- Team 3D (Dudley Boys) considered a "legendary tag team?" Really?

- Have you heard of the IWGP titles? I didn't think so....

- I feel sad for Mick Foley. He can still promo, but those sweats are starting to look like spandex, which isn't a good thing.

- "Lions and tigers and bears, Oh My!" - quote on TNA iMPACT!

- Sting wants to look like the Joker (purple robe)

- I hate wrestlers who are just paid to bleed (Balls Mahoney and Brother "spike dudley" Runt)

- Angle's weight loss is dramatic. Is he gearing up for a MMA run?

- "Umaga" Joe

- Danny Bonaduce....is this TNA's answer to Mickey Rourke in the WWE? If so = Fail

WWE Superstars (New WWE TV Show)

Just in-case you didn't have enough wrestling on TV, the WWE saves the day and decides to give us all another show to not watch if it sucks ("Heat"). "WWE Superstars" will air every Thursday night at 8 PM EST / 5 PM PST on WGN. Hopefully, this revival of a classic tv show will be up to snuff.

So when I say "you can watch," I actually mean people living in the United States. Unfortunately, because I live in Canada, I have to wait until Sunday to watch.

Therefore, my brother-in-law, Justin Dewiel, will be posting a review for all of you. Yes, we're a regular family business now. So, to recap this novel that I wrote, I'll be covering TNA IMPACT! tonight, while Justin will be following along with WWE Superstars.

Thanks wrestling for so much TV....

TNA iMPACT! Review Tomorrow Night!(!!!!)

We're 4 days away from TNA's PPV "Lockdown" on Sunday! With that said, TNA iMPACT! should be a pretty good show if they want to get you to plunk down your money for their monthly "slobberknocker!" I'll post my review tomorrow night after the show, and you can guarantee that it'll include plenty of exclamation marks because after all, it is TNA iMPACT!!