Coming off a usually successful (maybe - TNA's PPV buyrates are
down 20%) annual PPV in "Lockdown," TNA's first iMPACT! had alot to deliver. Did they? I really don't think so. I heard mixed reviews for "Lockdown"
(I wasn't able to watch). Some loved it, some hated it, but one thing's for sure, people were talking about it which I think is all TNA asks. The big stink, make that a sweatpants stink, after the PPV was the fact that Mick Foley was the NEW TNA Champion. I for one didn't mind that too much (pre tonight's iMPACT!), but now, I really want this belt on someone else, anyone else! Let's get to the show, shall we?
iMPACT! opened up with the founder, Jeff Jarrett coming into the ring to introduce Mick Foley as the new TNA Champion, and to hand him his new belt. Mick then came down to the ring in an
amazing outfit that was classic Mick. Foley was wearing a suit jacket, black shirt underneath, and sweatpants (could've been dress pants, but I was watching in SD b/c we don't get Spike in Canada in HD). Classy Mick, classy. Before any of you get on me for knocking Mick's style choice, or say "he always wears stuff like that, wake up," I KNOW THIS. That doesn't excuse the fact that he needs to be a bit more presentable on TV. It worked when he was a mid-carder, but if he's the flagship (champion), he needs to lead by example.
Foley thanks a few people for the victory, the cameraman "Dirk," and Sting who he said would probably be missing from action for a few weeks. To his credit, Mick was doing a fantastic job hamming it up in front of the camera like he always does "right here, in Orlando, Florida!" His face was jacked, as he claimed numerous times throughout the show (annoyingly) that he had 25 stitches put into him!
Jarrett, not amused, didn't hesitate to book a title defense at TNA's next PPV "Sacrifice" in a 4-way match against 3 other opponents of Jarrett's choice. The gimmick? Since the PPV is called "Sacrifice," appropriately, Jarrett would be choosing the 3 opponents based on what they're willing to "sacrifice" for an opportunity at the TNA championship. Mick wasn't too happy about the decision, and then said that they were business partners and that since he booked him, he (Mick) was going to book Jarrett tonight in a match against Scott Steiner.
blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Honestly, this promo lasted 15 minutes. I was tired of it. It seriously seemed forced, and it was evident that the two were trying to take up time because they'd repeat, and repeat again as if the folks in attendance, and us watching at home, didn't understand it the first time. We got the stipulations, we understand what's going on. I think the talent is partially to blame for the stigma put on wrestling fans that we're dumb. If you treat us like we're dumb, outsiders have ammo.
One more thing about this promo. Foley called the match he booked between Jarrett and Steiner a "Cactus Jack Smack Attack." BARF
"sandwich break" - Beautiful People promo
In yet another promo, West interviewed Team 3D after their recent win on "Lockdown." Team 3D took the opportunity to slam the WWE for the lack of focus on tag team competition (which I agree with) and announced that they were going to put on a tag team tournament for a shot at their titles and to bring a greater emphasis on tag team competition in TNA. They named the tournament the "Team 3D Tag Team Invitational Tournament."
Beer Money Inc. vs. Lethal Consequences (Quarterfinal match in the T3DTTIT)
My god! Even the acronym for the tournament is huge. This was the first of two quarterfinal matches in the tournament. They both were the best matches of the night. I really like the tag teams in TNA. Beer Money Inc. used great teamwork, and worked the ring well while Lethal Consequences mixed in their high energy, aerial maneuvers. Beer Money won the match with their devastating finisher (DWI - greatest finisher name ever). If you want to watch tag team wrestling, watch TNA!
Guess what happened next? You're right, another promo. This time MEM was up. They were interviewed to get their thoughts on the announced match between Steiner and Jarrett. Angle began talking, but Scott cut him off. Let's get one thing straight. Scott Steiner is a
LEGEND on the mic. He called Jarrett a "sorry son of a bitch" that drew awkward looks from Angle and the rest of the crew. You never know what you're going to get with Steiner, which is why he's great.
Right after the MEM promo came ANOTHER promo. This time with Jarrett. You know what? I'm not using anymore space in this review to talk about promos. Why you ask? Because there were 12 of them. TWELVE! There were only 6 matches on the card tonight, yet 12 promos. Yes, things happened during those promos, so I'll give you a quick rundown to save sanity.
Jarrett promo - unsuccessful because of Eric Young interrupting
Mick Foley promo - "CROSS THE LINE CAM" was the worst waste of time I've ever witnessed. He went around his hometown flashing his TNA championship belt as if he were a god.
Kevin Nash and Booker T promo - their "sandwich breaks" (Sharmell and Jenna) got into a cat fight.
Jeff Jarrett promo - unsuccessful because a call came in about his daughter and school
1 HOUR MARK = 1 match, 9 promos
Kevin Nash vs. AJ Styles (TNA Legends Championship on the line)
Kevin Nash came out with an enormous hockey elbow pad over his right elbow
(interesting). I was hoping he'd use it as a weapon Cowboy Bob Orton style... but he didn't. The match was going pretty well. Styles can get up! He has serious hops that make you believe he can actually compete with a guy like Nash. Unfortunately, the match ended in a DQ because Sharmell and Booker T came down to the ring. Sharmell tried to distract the ref while Booker T interfered, but the ref out of the corner of his eye caught Booker T (which the camera work displayed beautifully) and DQ'd Nash. This sparked a heated confrontation backstage between the two MEM members.
No Limit vs. Jethro Holliday and Eric Young (Quarterfinal match in the T3DTTIT)
I was actually pumped to see old Trevor Murdoch himself only with a new name, "Jethro Holliday" (same thing I guess). This match was a fantastic one that was similar to the previous tag match to open the show. Holliday can wrestle guys. He has great ring presence, and is very detailed in his craft. I think people recognized this about him while he was in the WWE. Holliday and Young scored the win, which helps push Eric Young a bit.
AJ Styles promo - Out comes "Umaga" Joe with a towel over his head (Taz(z) hint). In short, he tells Styles that he has no friends. :(
Dr. Stevie Richards promo - Abyss was Richards's guest on his couch. Wrestlecrap, but entertaining had there not been 2317390 promos already.
Chris Daniels promo - Daniels talks about being humbled while he was "fired" from TNA. He said that he couldn't stand watching the MEM, but his wife told him that he was exactly like that. I know Daniels is a talent, but what was said during this promo was quite possibly the dumbest thing ever. TNA, you have to push your guys for sure, but to say that Daniels is close to being in the same breath as Bret Hart from a technical perspective is ridiculous.
Another Mick Foley "CROSS THE LINE" promo
Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Steiner ("Cactus Jack Smack Attack" no DQ match)
I'm only a fan of "hardcore" matches when there's two extremely athletic guys in the ring (like the Hardy's). But when there's a lumbering Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett who has no business being in a hardcore match, it's a shitty way to end an evening. There was hardly any wrestling in this, but rather different ways to use the various weapons around the arena. Mick Foley supposedly "chose" the weapons that would be used in this match, and in typical sweatpants fashion, one of them was a pogo stick. Yes, a pogo stick. Steiner got on said pogo stick and hopped up and down a few times like an idiot to give Jarrett a bit of time to clothesline him. It was hilarious to watch what happened with the pogo stick, but c'mon TNA, you're better than that.
Another hilarious moment happened when Steiner took the lid of a trash can and hit Jarrett over the head with it. Jarrett didn't take the bump well. Instead, he moved his head down which led to Steiner not even connecting with Jarrett. It looked pretty awkward.
Jarrett won the match (of course).
After the match, MEM stormed the ring and they beat on Jarrett. Foley, who was doing color, ran in and hit Angle with a chair. He then hit Jarrett with a chair. The announce team then said that they were going to cut to a commercial break, but afterwards they'd hear Foley's thoughts on why he got involved.
After the break I think TNA forgot what they just said. Instead of Foley's thoughts, Jarrett was on the mic saying that Foley just made things personal.
Music hit, and Bobby Lashley came and just stood at the top of the ramp glaring at Jarrett while Angle smirked. Didn't Lashley do this very same thing at "Lockdown?" Instead it was iMPACT!, and the show ended.
Overall, besides the tag matches, the show was pretty disappointing. Not enough wrestling, too many promos, and a poor hardcore match to end the evening. I'm not giving TNA too much faith this week in winning the promotional TV show battle, but you guys get to vote
(starting tomorrow) too, so maybe I'm just a jackass and wrong...
What did you think of tonight's TNA iMPACT!?
Random Notes:- TNA does a fantastic job with interviews. They have someone interviewing them which leads to the wrestlers talking to the crowd and not to themselves.
- "peanut butter and jealousy sandwich" guess who said that? You're right, Foley.
- TNA wrestlers do a better job than WWE wrestlers in playing to the crowd. They appear to draw energy from them and acknowledge them which I think has been lost from the WWE for a while.
- During one of the "sandwich breaks," a
plastic ladder was used.
- Does AJ Styles look a little like
Jamie Noble?- When No Limit came down to the ring, a fan in mic range yelled "USA-USA!" Thanks Toby Keith!
- Chris Daniels wore sunglasses in the promo which made him look like
Paul Ellering.- Have you seen TNA's
promo for their "Sacrifice" PPV? What's with AJ Styles dressed as Marcus Phoenix in Gears of War?
- I know it's been talked about ad nauseum, but I can't help but think of the
old Scott Steiner whenever I see him.
- Take a page from TNA WWE. Cut to a commercial during a match as few times as possible (TNA did it once tonight).
Hey everyone,
The WWE! Combined with all of yours (thanks for voting) and my vote, the WWE is the winner.
Hey guys,
Make sure that you stay tuned to Headlocks 4 Breakfast for our "Backlash" PPV Review after tonight's show. Who will come out as WWE and World Heavyweight champions? John Cena, Triple H, Edge, or Randy Orton? Find out tonight! Here's the card for tonight's show:
April 26th, 1994 - The Headshrinkers defeated The Quebecers for the WWE Tag Team title.
If you're wondering what this is about, please read this entry.
Two days away from "Backlash" meant that the WWE had to do their very best to try and encourage us to buy the PPV. Did they come through? NOT AT ALL.
April 25th, 2000 - David Arquette defeated Diamond Dallas Page by pinning Eric Bischoff in a tag team match for the WCW World Heavyweight title. (lowest point in WCW history?)
April 24th, 2001 - Johnny Valentine, son of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, died of heart failure. Valentine had complications all of his life from the infamous 1975 plane crash that involved Valentine, Ric Flair, David Crockett, Bob Bruggers, and Tim Woods. The pilot of the plane was killed.
Coming off a usually successful (maybe - TNA's PPV buyrates are down 20%) annual PPV in "Lockdown," TNA's first iMPACT! had alot to deliver. Did they? I really don't think so. I heard mixed reviews for "Lockdown" (I wasn't able to watch). Some loved it, some hated it, but one thing's for sure, people were talking about it which I think is all TNA asks. The big stink, make that a sweatpants stink, after the PPV was the fact that Mick Foley was the NEW TNA Champion. I for one didn't mind that too much (pre tonight's iMPACT!), but now, I really want this belt on someone else, anyone else! Let's get to the show, shall we?
Week two of WWE Superstars showed the true quality that the show is going to be. While we are not looking at the next Raw or even the next Smackdown, the show will be much better than Sunday Night Heat. I’m still getting used to the three match shows, but all and all, it was another solid night for WWE Superstars. Let’s take a look at tonight’s matches:
Just like last week, we'll be reviewing both WWE Superstars and TNA iMPACT! tonight. So check out Headlocks 4 Breakfast tomorrow for the full reviews of both shows!
April 23rd, 1990 - Curt Henning aka "Mr. Perfect" defeated Tito Santana in a tournament final for the WWE Intercontinental Championship.
I told you guys that I'd review my new copy of "The Wrestler" on Blu-Ray, and that it wouldn't be a review of the actual movie, but rather the Blu-Ray as a whole.
April 22nd, 1996 - The Giant defeated Ric Flair for the WCW Heavyweight title.
First off, let me just say that my rhymes are DOPE!
Do you remember the days before the WWE said "Don't Try This?" What were you "trying this" on? These bad boys of course! When I was a kid, you weren't cool unless you had one of these. The boys version of stuffed animals was the bees knees. You weren't a wuss if you had one, you were a legend! Whenever there was a sleepover, everyone in your clique would bring their own (mine was Hulk Hogan of course) and you all would put on matches. It all ended with everyone using them as pillows to beat each other with, but pre-mind fart, the matches you put on were epic!
There's a rumor going around that Jeff Hardy won't sign an extension on his existing WWE contract that expires in July. Apparently Hardy wants to take some time off and feels financially secure. What do you guys think?
April 21st, 2002 - Hulk Hogan defeated Triple H for the WWE Unified Heavyweight title.
Whenever there's a show before a PPV, THAT should be the show that makes you salivate at the mouth to purchase the PPV because you can't wait to see what happens next. Did the RAW brand deliver on this with tonight's episode? Partially, but I can't help but feel a little robbed of my intelligence. Sure, we (wrestling fans) are ADD, forgetful (on purpose), and we keep coming back for more, but that shouldn't make the writers sit in cruise control and do the same crap all the time.
Raw invades the 02 Arena in London, England tonight! Make sure to come back to H4B after the show for our detailed (and probably sarcastic) RAW review!
If you haven't seen "The Wrestler" in the theater, you're a fool and I'm wondering why you're reading this. Luckily, the DVD gods have saved you because the movie releases in stores everywhere tomorrow on both DVD and Blu-Ray. I'll post a review of the Blu-Ray (version I'm buying) version tomorrow, but it will be a review of the overall package of the Blu-Ray, not the movie itself. You can lookup Roger Ebert's review for that one.
April 20th, 1998 - Goldberg defeated Raven for the WCW US Heavyweight title.
While I wasn't able to watch the show due to a prior engagement, I do know the results. Here they are if you want to see them....
Go to YouTube, type in "wrestling figures," and what's the first thing you see? Yeah, I thought so...
TNA will be holding its annual "Lockdown" PPV tonight at 8 PM EST / 5 PM PST. Like I said previously, I won't be able to watch this live because of a prior engagement. I will however post a review once I've seen the encore. When that is, not sure, but I will :)
April 19th, 1998 - Randy Savage defeated Sting for the WCW World Heavyweight title.
April 18th, 1987 - Mike Rotundo aka "IRS" (I know it's Mike Rotund(a), but his gimmick at the time was Rotund(o)) defeated Sir Oliver Humperdink for the NWA Florida State Heavyweight title.
With only a week and 2 days left until "Backlash," and 4 days removed from the WWE "Draft" on RAW, Smackdown! was determined to make us buy that damn PPV, and I'll tell you what, they really worked their asses off!
I thank all of you for supporting Headlocks 4 Breakfast in its first week! Be sure to follow along during the weekend where I'll post a Friday Night Smackdown! review, impressions of "Legends of Wrestlemania" the videogame, and another edition of "Mr. I Take Wrestling Way Too Seriously!"
Just in-case you haven't read my thoughts on Taz's / Milt McGee's announcement that he's now on Facebook, read here for context.
With only 3 days until TNA's annual (Lethal) "Lockdown" PPV, something had to happen on TNA iMPACT! in order for us to be remotely interested in buying it right? Well rest assured, something did happen. An entire 2 hour show happened. We were promised from "Double-J" that there would be a major announcement on iMPACT! that would change the main event of "Lockdown" significantly. Team Jarrett was going to have a new member for the PPV.
April 17th, 1998 - WCW filed suit in Fulton County Superior Court against Ric Flair for breech of contract
First, let me say that I had no expectations for this show. As a kid I sat through endless episodes of Sunday Night Heat holding onto hope that one day a main event type match would take place and I was left with disappointment. Despite questioning whether or not the quality of the show will be maintained, the only show where you can see superstars from RAW, ECW, and Smackdown had a promising debut. Let’s take a look at the night’s matches.
Just in-case you didn't have enough wrestling on TV, the WWE saves the day and decides to give us all another show to not watch if it sucks ("Heat"). "WWE Superstars" will air every Thursday night at 8 PM EST / 5 PM PST on WGN. Hopefully, this revival of a classic tv show will be up to snuff.
Have you guys heard of a game called "Fire Pro Wrestling?" They DON'T have the WWE license and users have been able to do things like the video you see below. If you guys have the opportunity to pick this game up (rare), do it. It's for the PS2, but it looks to be worth it. I just can't get over this video!
April 16th, 2001 - Triple H defeated Jeff Hardy for the WWE Intercontinental title
We're 4 days away from TNA's PPV "Lockdown" on Sunday! With that said, TNA iMPACT! should be a pretty good show if they want to get you to plunk down your money for their monthly "slobberknocker!" I'll post my review tomorrow night after the show, and you can guarantee that it'll include plenty of exclamation marks because after all, it is TNA iMPACT!!
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