Friday, April 17, 2009

"Yo" Taz(z) Speaks! (The Universe Continues to not Care)

Just in-case you haven't read my thoughts on Taz's / Milt McGee's announcement that he's now on Facebook, read here for context.

FINALLY, Taz has released his long awaited announcement. "Tazmania" didn't know what to do with themselves since they hadn't heard from him in so long. Here's the full writeup, afterwards I'll have my usual (thanks jimanju ;) ) commentary because I just can't help it.

"Yo, Well, after leaving WWE recently, I would like to make my first public comments here on the page. I would like to thank the Pro Wrestling fan base for the support through all my years with ECW & WWE! I especially want to thank all of you on this Facebook fan page from all over the world! I try to read most of your comments and I am truly flattered on how many of you supported what I did in the real ECW and my broadcasting accomplishments in WWE. Lets face it, after my debut at MSG vs the great Kurt Angle their wasn't much for me to "hang my hat on" as a wrestler during my tenure wrestling for WWE. Now, I want to clear up some "true & false" for all of you.... TRUE -My contract expired the end of March and I had given my notice several weeks prior -I ask WWE for my release to pursue other interest -I offered to call Wrestlemania while I was not contractually obligated....and offered to call the show for free to the company. -I have fulfilled EVERY obligation to the WWE, and pride myself on leaving the proper/professional way. -On my way out, from Vince McMahon, Kevin Dunn & Stephanie ALL treated me great...which was cool. -I APPRECIATE all of the offers for appearances but right now I'm just doing very few appearances (if any). I'm gonna chill out and watch my kid hit baseballs. -I am done wrestling. At 41 years old, several neck and shoulder issues...not happening. I would be a former shell of myself. -I too have hated the extra "Z" FALSE -Burnout (If anything, I'm more inspired & motivated now than ever) Hopefully that clears up some things people were saying in regards to my situation. Also, I have had the opportunity of becoming friends with so many talented & awesome people within the WWE while working there for nearly 10 years and will miss many of them! I would like to thank the writers, road & studio crew and all the talent...especially guys I have a closer friendship with. I especially want thank three of the main play by play guys I've work with. Joey Styles -A dear friend whom I've been goombas with for 15 years and will stay friends with! I felt Joey never had a chance to truly be "Joey Styles" in WWE as an announce talent...that's a shame. But the announce style is completely different than anything Joey ever really did in the business....tough to adapt. Jim Ross -The best of the best! True Hall of Famer and a man I respect and appreciate. I cannot thank him enough for all he has taught me as an of recent JR & I were the Smack announce team and were doing a strong job in my view....we have shared some good times on many road trips as of recent...BOOMER SOONER!! And I'm a Nebraska Husker fan (lol) Micheal Cole -One of my best friends...a guy that truly gave me the confidence to excel as a color commentator years ago in WWE...Cole taught me how to get over the talent, the storylines and get over the brand! He was the only one that had the balls to flat out say to me "its not about you anymore"...I respect that. Amazing work ethic, always would try to find a way for me to get over on ego & underrated! I been hearing that Cole has been getting bashed by some on-line fans lately- check this out, if you work at McDonald's and your boss wants you to cook BicMac' than go and cook BIG MACS! Anyway, I look forward to working with Cole in the future in some capacity be it TV or Radio. I want thank World Wrestling Entertainment and the McMahon Family for all the years and all the opportunities...they allowed me a great ride which I truly appreciate. In closing, I've been in the Pro Wrestling business for 23 years and I don't plan on disappearing anytime soon. I plan to make an impact real soon in this, the ultimate in businesses and keep it's for crossing the line with my sophomoric humor! Survive if I let you. FTW Taz"

First off, "Yo?" You have your pool boy "Milt McGee" (pen name) post for you because you can't figure out the world wide web, and when he finally shows you how to write on a computer screen, the first thing you say to your "Tazmaniacs" is "Yo?" Also, what's with the exclamation marks?(!) Taz writes on Joey Styles, "A dear friend whom I've been goombas (weren't those the little brown things in Mario?) with for 15 years and will stay friends with!" Cool Taz, but why are you shouting at me?

He also breaks down bullet-point style with the headers "TRUE" and "False." Did he take a lie detector test before telling the "Tazmaniacs" about these specific things? He also says "I APPRECIATE all of the offers for appearances but right now I'm just doing very few appearances (if any)." Firstly, does he think that the people he's turned down for appearances (Chuck E' Cheese and the Spokane, WA mall) are actually on Facebook awaiting the answer to their inquiries?

1) They have businesses to run, so they can't be worried about Facebook
2) Taz must have already told them, so he's just gloating about getting asked to do appearances

Micheal Cole is also his "best friend." Well, if he's your best friend, then why did you spell his first name wrong? (Michael) And if he taught you the ins and outs of announcing, no wonder you're not working in the WWE anymore....

Two more things before I end the last note ever about Taz on this blog. (probably not)

Taz probably used the greatest analogy ever when referring to "on-line (why the hyphen) fans" bashing Cole. Taz writes "I been hearing that Cole has been getting bashed by some on-line fans lately- check this out, if you work at McDonald's and your boss wants you to cook BicMac' than go and cook BIG MACS!" How the hell did Taz, with all of those grammatical errors in that one sentence, get that "McDonald's" had an apostrophe in it? That's skill buddy.

The last thing that really makes me laugh is the fact that he had to state that he hates it when people spell his WRESTLING name with an extra "z." First off Peter Senercia (Taz's real name), you've been "Tazz" forever. Don't believe me? Do a search for "Taz" and what do you find? The "Tazmanian Devil." Do a search for "Tazz" and what do you find? YOU! The internet doesn't lie.... Plus, you picked a name that was a long-established cartoon character, that's your fault.

Enough with you Taz(z). I now am paranoid about using hyphens, exclamation marks and where and when I'm using commas. That's what I learned from your Facebook post. What did all of you "Tazmaniacs" learn?


  1. I haven't been waiting with bated breath for an update from Tazz either; what did you expect him to write about? I'm no Tazmaniac, but as a follower of the industry I at least respect and appreciate the fact that he has taken the time to keep us updated on his situation, even if there really isn't anything to update us on.

    From what I've seen, Tazz has better spelling & grammar than most pro wrestlers. Not sure why pro wrestlers seem to have bad grammar; maybe it's all the time they spend landing on their heads.

    Also of note: you wrote, "afterwards I'll have my usually commentary," which most likely means one of two things. (1) You meant to insert an additional adjective in between 'usually' and 'commentary', such as 'witty', 'earth-shattering' or 'gut-wrenching' (thank you, Mad Libs,) but accidentally the whole word. (2) You mistakenly added an -ly where it was unnecessary, which would make the base statement unnecessary in the first place, since this is a blog and blogs always have personal commentary unless the blogger isn't really hip to the concept.

    If you're going to critique others' writing, shouldn't yours be perfect first? Look, I'm a grammar nazi too, but minor spelling and grammatical errors don't bother me as long as the intent is clear.

    What are you trying to prove?

  2. Thanks for the correction jimanju. I edited my post just for you. A little background though.
    My keyboard has a malfunction in it where every time I enter the letter "l," two "l"s show up. I've been able to keep a handle on it by talking nicely to the keyboard, but that one got away from me. Good catch! (I'm screaming)

  3. I'd like to request more grammar critiquing, please, if it's at the expense of celebrities.