Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Last Week's Winner Is......

The WWE! Combined with all of yours (thanks for voting) and my vote, the WWE is the winner.

So that's the WWE 1, TNA 0.

I'll post a poll after Friday Night Smackdown! for this week's shows.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Why no Backlash or RAW Review?

Hey guys,

Again, I thank you for your support, but this week I have to take a break from Headlocks 4 Breakfast because work is ramping up (I'm a video game producer), and I can't devote the time necessary to think of witty things to say.

Backlash was awesome - that's really all you need to know. The Cena / Edge match was EPIC!

RAW last night was pretty good too. I like seeing MVP maybe moving up to Main Event status.

I'll be back next Monday guys with a review of RAW. Very sorry once again. Thanks for reading of course!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

WWE "Backlash" PPV Tonight! (Review After the Show)

Make sure that you stay tuned to Headlocks 4 Breakfast for our "Backlash" PPV Review after tonight's show. Who will come out as WWE and World Heavyweight champions? John Cena, Triple H, Edge, or Randy Orton? Find out tonight! Here's the card for tonight's show:

"Santina" on Khali Kiss Cam

CM Punk vs. Kane

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy ("I Quit" Match)

Triple H, Batista, and Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton and The Legacy (Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase)

Jack Swagger vs. Christian

John Cena vs. Edge (Last Man Standing Match)

On This Day in Wrestling History...

April 26th, 1994 - The Headshrinkers defeated The Quebecers for the WWE Tag Team title.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

WWE vs. TNA -- Who Won this Week? 4/20 - 4/24

If you're wondering what this is about, please read this entry.

The WWE wins for me this week because of WWE Superstars (the show). I ALMOST want to give it to TNA because of last night's Smackdown!, but iMPACT! was promo city this week. I have the WWE up 1-0 over TNA en route to next month's PPV battle. What do you guys think? Sound off via the poll to the right and I'll combine those votes with my score to get a final outcome for this week!

Friday Night Smackdown! Review 4/24

Two days away from "Backlash" meant that the WWE had to do their very best to try and encourage us to buy the PPV. Did they come through? NOT AT ALL.

After an awesome Smackdown! last week, I was almost positive that we were seeing a new trend in the WWE. If we wanted to see good wrestling, we could count on Smackdown! to deliver that. If we wanted "Days of Our Lives" wrestling style, we could watch RAW. Who knew that RAW would be the better show this week? And on top of that, by the looks of things, WWE Superstars topped them both, and that's only an hour show. Anyway, let's get on with it (this is almost as painful writing this as it was watching).

The show opened up with JR and Grisham teasing the main event of the evening which was the Undertaker vs. Big Show. I was thinking, "ok, we go." They also mentioned that Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase would matchup against Shane McMahon and Batista. I immediately felt like I got punched in the stomach. Aren't these guys on RAW? Didn't they say last week on Smackdown! that this week would feature the newly drafted Smackdown! superstars? More on that later.

Cue the best music in the WWE. Edge comes out to the ring and does a pretty serious promo. The only thing was that all of a sudden, the lights in the arena went out making it a bit too gothic for me. Edge did show his mic skills, and did his best to pump up his match against Cena at "Backlash." He (Edge) mentioned that he won his first world championship in 2006. Well, it's 2009 now which made me think of something...

He's won the title 8 times in three years. If he wins Sunday against Cena, which I'm sure he will, he'll have won the title 9 times in three years. Isn't that a bit obnoxious? Do you think the WWE realizes this? How much does this tarnish the legacy of the world championship in the WWE? In my opinion, this superficially catapults Edge onto lists of former champions like Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Ric Flair, Triple H, The Rock, HBK, Bret Hart, and Stone Cold. You get what I'm saying... Edge is fantastic, but his three year reign happens a bit too soon.

Matt Hardy and Kane vs. CM Punk and Jeff Hardy

I'm really not a fan of mid-card matches at a PPV being promoted via a pre-show mixed tag match. Back in the day, a mixed tag match before a big PPV showdown was left to main eventers. Because this formula has been used so often, it's become stale to me.

The match was alright though. I thought for certain that because Kane was involved, they'd lose, but I was wrong. Matt Hardy and Kane won, which left JR and Grisham to say "That's three in a row for Matt over his brother Jeff." Here's where I have the problem. Doing this three times in a row all but cements a win for Jeff at "Backlash." Does the WWE really think we think Matt has Jeff's number? It bit too obvious guys. We shall see though at "Backlash."

Big Show vs. Undertaker

This match started with the Big Show doing a promo in the ring. Personally, I can't stand it when Big Show talks. I want to imagine him as this gigantic phenom that just destroys people, but the minute he opens his mouth, he ruins it for me. The gimmick's over. When Andre opened his mouth, you could hardly understand him. That was part of the appeal... Question: Do you still get chills when the Undertaker comes out? I do. His entrance is still one of the best, and it's good to see it hasn't changed much. Although the minute his matches start, he loses the persona of "the dead man," and becomes a boxer.

This was a ridiculous moment. Undertaker has entered the ring, and he's doing his removal of the hat routine, and while this is going on, Big Show is jumping up and down, shaking his arms, and shadow boxing as if he's getting prepped for a heavyweight boxing fight. Again, this just ruins it for me. I want to see Big Show just look straight at him. Not move, just stare at him. The match begins and they both start at each other as if it was the beginning of UFC 98. I guess I'm just old school here, but to me it's absurd to see the Undertaker get hit, and then stand up throwing punches at the air indicating that he can't see straight, if at all. Who made the decision to turn the Undertaker into this? I just can't let that go guys, I'm sorry.

I also want to comment, yet again, on the predictability the WWE shows. Why is it that it seems whenever someone initially goes for a choke slam, it's countered. Seriously, the next time you watch a WWE show, I guarantee the intial choke slam attempt will be countered. They make such a big deal about the "slap" noise of getting the lock on for the choke, but it's always countered. The WWE MUST see this. And of course, the Big Show did his usual, pin opponent up against the ropes, take a running charge missing him completely, fall to the outside of the ring.

Anyway, the Big Show won with a knockout punch, but instead of winning by pinfall, the ref called the match. Seriously? Since when does the towel get thrown in? WTF? This match sucked.

BTW -- JR and Grisham kept referring to this match as the "Main Event." If this was the "Main Event," then why is it ending the FIRST hour of the show?

Gail Kim vs. Maryse

"sandwich break"

A pretty cool Jeff Hardy promo happened where he appeared to be in a boiler room talking about his match with his brother at "Backlash." Reminded me of the old days. Good job here.

Chavo vs. MVP

Why did the WWE even bother with this one? And isn't Chavo and MVP on RAW now? Didn't they say on Smackdown! last week that it would be MVP's final appearance on Smackdown!? Inconsistent WWE, again, YOU MUST SEE THIS! Add the fact that MVP is AGAIN facing Dolph Ziggler next week on Smackdown!, and I'm certain that the WWE thinks we're idiots.

MVP won the match

At this point, I don't know how much more I can take. It has been an awful show, and I was ready to turn it off.

I didn't even want to watch the actual "Main Event," and turned the TV off. I couldn't help myself though, and turned it back on. Luckily, I did catch an awesome promo of John Cena talking about his match with Edge. Cena was right, they both are the Yankees and Red Sox of the WWE. The WWE has made certain of that. I'm looking forward to this one at "Backlash," but I can't see how Cena walks out of there with the belt. If he did, what a pleasant surprise that would be from the WWE.

Shane McMahon and Batista vs. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase

I love Ted, you guys know that, but I'm not even commenting on this match. These guys are RAW superstars taking Smackdown! real estate to hype their "Main Event" match at "Backlash," because the bookers / writers aren't convinced, after beating us over the head with this storyline, that we are convinced. The only thing this match showed was that Batista may turn at "Backlash." They won the match by the way.

No random notes guys. Why do you think I've waited this long to write my review? It's 9:08 PST, and I still haven't gotten over it. The show sucked, and if I wasn't gone last weekend, "Lockdown" would've been my PPV of choice because of this show, I've lost hope for "Backlash."

I hope I'm wrong. Sort it out WWE!

On This Day in Wrestling History...

April 25th, 2000 - David Arquette defeated Diamond Dallas Page by pinning Eric Bischoff in a tag team match for the WCW World Heavyweight title. (lowest point in WCW history?)

Friday, April 24, 2009

On This Day in Wrestling History...

April 24th, 2001 - Johnny Valentine, son of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, died of heart failure. Valentine had complications all of his life from the infamous 1975 plane crash that involved Valentine, Ric Flair, David Crockett, Bob Bruggers, and Tim Woods. The pilot of the plane was killed.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

TNA iMPACT! Review 4/23 (Promo Edition)

Coming off a usually successful (maybe - TNA's PPV buyrates are down 20%) annual PPV in "Lockdown," TNA's first iMPACT! had alot to deliver. Did they? I really don't think so. I heard mixed reviews for "Lockdown" (I wasn't able to watch). Some loved it, some hated it, but one thing's for sure, people were talking about it which I think is all TNA asks. The big stink, make that a sweatpants stink, after the PPV was the fact that Mick Foley was the NEW TNA Champion. I for one didn't mind that too much (pre tonight's iMPACT!), but now, I really want this belt on someone else, anyone else! Let's get to the show, shall we?

iMPACT! opened up with the founder, Jeff Jarrett coming into the ring to introduce Mick Foley as the new TNA Champion, and to hand him his new belt. Mick then came down to the ring in an amazing outfit that was classic Mick. Foley was wearing a suit jacket, black shirt underneath, and sweatpants (could've been dress pants, but I was watching in SD b/c we don't get Spike in Canada in HD). Classy Mick, classy. Before any of you get on me for knocking Mick's style choice, or say "he always wears stuff like that, wake up," I KNOW THIS. That doesn't excuse the fact that he needs to be a bit more presentable on TV. It worked when he was a mid-carder, but if he's the flagship (champion), he needs to lead by example.

Foley thanks a few people for the victory, the cameraman "Dirk," and Sting who he said would probably be missing from action for a few weeks. To his credit, Mick was doing a fantastic job hamming it up in front of the camera like he always does "right here, in Orlando, Florida!" His face was jacked, as he claimed numerous times throughout the show (annoyingly) that he had 25 stitches put into him!

Jarrett, not amused, didn't hesitate to book a title defense at TNA's next PPV "Sacrifice" in a 4-way match against 3 other opponents of Jarrett's choice. The gimmick? Since the PPV is called "Sacrifice," appropriately, Jarrett would be choosing the 3 opponents based on what they're willing to "sacrifice" for an opportunity at the TNA championship. Mick wasn't too happy about the decision, and then said that they were business partners and that since he booked him, he (Mick) was going to book Jarrett tonight in a match against Scott Steiner.

blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Honestly, this promo lasted 15 minutes. I was tired of it. It seriously seemed forced, and it was evident that the two were trying to take up time because they'd repeat, and repeat again as if the folks in attendance, and us watching at home, didn't understand it the first time. We got the stipulations, we understand what's going on. I think the talent is partially to blame for the stigma put on wrestling fans that we're dumb. If you treat us like we're dumb, outsiders have ammo.

One more thing about this promo. Foley called the match he booked between Jarrett and Steiner a "Cactus Jack Smack Attack." BARF

"sandwich break" - Beautiful People promo

In yet another promo, West interviewed Team 3D after their recent win on "Lockdown." Team 3D took the opportunity to slam the WWE for the lack of focus on tag team competition (which I agree with) and announced that they were going to put on a tag team tournament for a shot at their titles and to bring a greater emphasis on tag team competition in TNA. They named the tournament the "Team 3D Tag Team Invitational Tournament."

Beer Money Inc. vs. Lethal Consequences (Quarterfinal match in the T3DTTIT)

My god! Even the acronym for the tournament is huge. This was the first of two quarterfinal matches in the tournament. They both were the best matches of the night. I really like the tag teams in TNA. Beer Money Inc. used great teamwork, and worked the ring well while Lethal Consequences mixed in their high energy, aerial maneuvers. Beer Money won the match with their devastating finisher (DWI - greatest finisher name ever). If you want to watch tag team wrestling, watch TNA!

Guess what happened next? You're right, another promo. This time MEM was up. They were interviewed to get their thoughts on the announced match between Steiner and Jarrett. Angle began talking, but Scott cut him off. Let's get one thing straight. Scott Steiner is a LEGEND on the mic. He called Jarrett a "sorry son of a bitch" that drew awkward looks from Angle and the rest of the crew. You never know what you're going to get with Steiner, which is why he's great.

Right after the MEM promo came ANOTHER promo. This time with Jarrett. You know what? I'm not using anymore space in this review to talk about promos. Why you ask? Because there were 12 of them. TWELVE! There were only 6 matches on the card tonight, yet 12 promos. Yes, things happened during those promos, so I'll give you a quick rundown to save sanity.

Jarrett promo - unsuccessful because of Eric Young interrupting

Mick Foley promo - "CROSS THE LINE CAM" was the worst waste of time I've ever witnessed. He went around his hometown flashing his TNA championship belt as if he were a god.

Kevin Nash and Booker T promo - their "sandwich breaks" (Sharmell and Jenna) got into a cat fight.

Jeff Jarrett promo - unsuccessful because a call came in about his daughter and school

1 HOUR MARK = 1 match, 9 promos

Kevin Nash vs. AJ Styles (TNA Legends Championship on the line)

Kevin Nash came out with an enormous hockey elbow pad over his right elbow (interesting). I was hoping he'd use it as a weapon Cowboy Bob Orton style... but he didn't. The match was going pretty well. Styles can get up! He has serious hops that make you believe he can actually compete with a guy like Nash. Unfortunately, the match ended in a DQ because Sharmell and Booker T came down to the ring. Sharmell tried to distract the ref while Booker T interfered, but the ref out of the corner of his eye caught Booker T (which the camera work displayed beautifully) and DQ'd Nash. This sparked a heated confrontation backstage between the two MEM members.

No Limit vs. Jethro Holliday and Eric Young (Quarterfinal match in the T3DTTIT)

I was actually pumped to see old Trevor Murdoch himself only with a new name, "Jethro Holliday" (same thing I guess). This match was a fantastic one that was similar to the previous tag match to open the show. Holliday can wrestle guys. He has great ring presence, and is very detailed in his craft. I think people recognized this about him while he was in the WWE. Holliday and Young scored the win, which helps push Eric Young a bit.

AJ Styles promo - Out comes "Umaga" Joe with a towel over his head (Taz(z) hint). In short, he tells Styles that he has no friends. :(

Dr. Stevie Richards promo - Abyss was Richards's guest on his couch. Wrestlecrap, but entertaining had there not been 2317390 promos already.

Chris Daniels promo - Daniels talks about being humbled while he was "fired" from TNA. He said that he couldn't stand watching the MEM, but his wife told him that he was exactly like that. I know Daniels is a talent, but what was said during this promo was quite possibly the dumbest thing ever. TNA, you have to push your guys for sure, but to say that Daniels is close to being in the same breath as Bret Hart from a technical perspective is ridiculous.

Another Mick Foley "CROSS THE LINE" promo

Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Steiner ("Cactus Jack Smack Attack" no DQ match)

I'm only a fan of "hardcore" matches when there's two extremely athletic guys in the ring (like the Hardy's). But when there's a lumbering Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett who has no business being in a hardcore match, it's a shitty way to end an evening. There was hardly any wrestling in this, but rather different ways to use the various weapons around the arena. Mick Foley supposedly "chose" the weapons that would be used in this match, and in typical sweatpants fashion, one of them was a pogo stick. Yes, a pogo stick. Steiner got on said pogo stick and hopped up and down a few times like an idiot to give Jarrett a bit of time to clothesline him. It was hilarious to watch what happened with the pogo stick, but c'mon TNA, you're better than that.

Another hilarious moment happened when Steiner took the lid of a trash can and hit Jarrett over the head with it. Jarrett didn't take the bump well. Instead, he moved his head down which led to Steiner not even connecting with Jarrett. It looked pretty awkward.

Jarrett won the match (of course).

After the match, MEM stormed the ring and they beat on Jarrett. Foley, who was doing color, ran in and hit Angle with a chair. He then hit Jarrett with a chair. The announce team then said that they were going to cut to a commercial break, but afterwards they'd hear Foley's thoughts on why he got involved.

After the break I think TNA forgot what they just said. Instead of Foley's thoughts, Jarrett was on the mic saying that Foley just made things personal.

Music hit, and Bobby Lashley came and just stood at the top of the ramp glaring at Jarrett while Angle smirked. Didn't Lashley do this very same thing at "Lockdown?" Instead it was iMPACT!, and the show ended.

Overall, besides the tag matches, the show was pretty disappointing. Not enough wrestling, too many promos, and a poor hardcore match to end the evening. I'm not giving TNA too much faith this week in winning the promotional TV show battle, but you guys get to vote (starting tomorrow) too, so maybe I'm just a jackass and wrong...

What did you think of tonight's TNA iMPACT!?

Random Notes:

- TNA does a fantastic job with interviews. They have someone interviewing them which leads to the wrestlers talking to the crowd and not to themselves.

- "peanut butter and jealousy sandwich" guess who said that? You're right, Foley.

- TNA wrestlers do a better job than WWE wrestlers in playing to the crowd. They appear to draw energy from them and acknowledge them which I think has been lost from the WWE for a while.

- During one of the "sandwich breaks," a plastic ladder was used.

- Does AJ Styles look a little like Jamie Noble?

- When No Limit came down to the ring, a fan in mic range yelled "USA-USA!" Thanks Toby Keith!

- Chris Daniels wore sunglasses in the promo which made him look like Paul Ellering.

- Have you seen TNA's promo for their "Sacrifice" PPV? What's with AJ Styles dressed as Marcus Phoenix in Gears of War?

- I know it's been talked about ad nauseum, but I can't help but think of the old Scott Steiner whenever I see him.

- Take a page from TNA WWE. Cut to a commercial during a match as few times as possible (TNA did it once tonight).

WWE Superstars Review 4/23

Week two of WWE Superstars showed the true quality that the show is going to be. While we are not looking at the next Raw or even the next Smackdown, the show will be much better than Sunday Night Heat. I’m still getting used to the three match shows, but all and all, it was another solid night for WWE Superstars. Let’s take a look at tonight’s matches:

Rey Mysterio & CM Punk vs. Kane & the Big Show

First, let me say that I am not a fan of watching an exciting little guy carry an entire match against a bigger, far less exciting wrestler. Unfortunately, I was stuck watching double the fun as it was clear from the beginning what was going to happen.

Mysterio and Punk dominated the match punishing Kane and the Big Show with numerous high flying moves. The match lasted through a few commercial breaks and the little guys were still in control. Then, with one punch, Kane and the Big Show took over the match. Mysterio was thrown out of the ring and Punk was left to fight the two by himself. 20 seconds later, Punk was flat on his back and being pinned by Kane. Come on guys, this big guy little guy angle is played out. Bring back the Cruiserweight division so we can watch guys like Mysterio actually do their thing.

Tyson Kidd & Natalya vs. Finlay & Hornswoggle

This was clearly a farewell gimmick match for Hornswoggle and his “Father” Finlay due to Hornswoggle being drafted to Raw. The match barely lasted two minutes and Natalya never got in the ring. Hornswoggle did tackle her outside of the ring, but that was the extent of her action. The best part of the match was watching Hornswoggle hit Tyson Kidd with the Frog Splash after Finlay hit him in the head. Despite the match being short, I’m glad to see the WWE splitting Finlay from Hornswoggle. I hope he gets another push as a heel.

Kofi Kingston vs. Edge

This was one of the most exciting matches that I have watched in awhile and further proves my point that Kofi should get a major push. Edge carries most of the guys that he wrestles in the ring, but not Kofi. He is as high flying and acrobatic as they come. Edge won the match, but Kofi dominated most of the fight. Kingston shows skills in the ring that very few guys can match. The two of them battled back and forth hitting one another with numerous moves before edge speared Kofi and covered him for the victory.

Again, this is part of the problem that I have with the WWE. It takes way too long for new guys to get the proper push and then it is almost unbelievable. Who wants to see and or believes that a guy, who couldn’t win a match for years, is all of a sudden the most dominant wrestler in the business? Remember when WCW brought in Goldberg and he won over a 150 straight matches and you knew that he was the guy? Who is going to be that guy in the WWE? Only time will tell, but Kofi Kingston should be that guy!

Wrestling Galore!

Just like last week, we'll be reviewing both WWE Superstars and TNA iMPACT! tonight. So check out Headlocks 4 Breakfast tomorrow for the full reviews of both shows!

On This Day in Wrestling History...

April 23rd, 1990 - Curt Henning aka "Mr. Perfect" defeated Tito Santana in a tournament final for the WWE Intercontinental Championship.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

"The Wrestler" Blu-Ray Review

I told you guys that I'd review my new copy of "The Wrestler" on Blu-Ray, and that it wouldn't be a review of the actual movie, but rather the Blu-Ray as a whole.

Well, there's only two bonus features on the disc and you can find them both on the net without buying the movie. A few days ago I linked you guys to a "Wrestler Roundtable" in which Brutus Beefcake, Roddy Piper, Greg Valentine, Lex Luger and Diamond Dallas Page were on hand to discuss their thoughts on the movie. This entire segment is included on the Blu-Ray. It's really interesting to see these former superstars so humbled by the movie. They discuss their road to success, and make the same comparisons with their lives to that of Randy "The Ram" Robinson's.

The best part of the roundtable for me was the discussion on steroids in professional wrestling. Luger admits to using them, and says that he's now an advocate against performance enhancing drugs. Luger looks sickly (maybe because he's not on the juice anymore), and talks about his regrets in his previous life. I think Lex stands out in this roundtable because we've heard so little about him even though he's been involved in incidents like the one with Miss Elizabeth's death.

The second bonus feature was a music video for Bruce Springsteen's original song "The Wrestler." You can watch the video below. Springsteen hasn't lost it, and this song grabs your heart just like the film did.

All in all, I was a little disappointed with the bonus features for the Blu-Ray. I would loved to have seen a "making of" segment, but because the movie is so damn good, It really didn't bother me that much. I'm happy to have the film in my collection. If you still haven't seen the movie and you're reading this blog, you're seriously blowing my mind, and making me wonder if you live life bass ackwards...

On This Day in Wrestling History.....

April 22nd, 1996 - The Giant defeated Ric Flair for the WCW Heavyweight title.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I Want YOU to Help Select a Pay Per View!

First off, let me just say that my rhymes are DOPE!

Alright, now to the point of this post (besides showing a "sandwich break" in an "Uncle Sam" outfit). In these economic times, one must be super careful where and how they spend their money. I'm not saying I'm dirt poor, but I wanted to make a game of this. To be honest, only one brand actually deserves money each month, and in that EXTREMELY rare occasion that both PPVs are a lock for quality, I'll purchase both. But that probably won't happen because let's face it, both promotions don't bring it every month.

So here's how the game will work. Each week Headlocks 4 Breakfast will review Monday Night RAW, WWE Superstars, TNA iMPACT! and Friday Night Smackdown!. I'll then, at the end of each week give one promotion a nod over the other. So, if I think RAW, Smackdown and Superstars was better than iMPACT this week, I'll give the WWE a score of 1-0 and vice versa. "But that's not fair! TNA only has one show that's not a recap!" I took this into account. That's why I'm doing it American Idol style! Every Friday, after Friday Night Smackdown!, I'll post a poll asking you guys which promotion won this week. I'll then process that final poll vote with my own personal score and use a very super complicated method to pick a winner for the week (which I'll announce). Whoever wins the most amount of weeks before the PPVs, will win my cash and extremely prestigious review skills.

Make sense? If not, actually READ this story.

Touch of Nostalgia...

Do you remember the days before the WWE said "Don't Try This?" What were you "trying this" on? These bad boys of course! When I was a kid, you weren't cool unless you had one of these. The boys version of stuffed animals was the bees knees. You weren't a wuss if you had one, you were a legend! Whenever there was a sleepover, everyone in your clique would bring their own (mine was Hulk Hogan of course) and you all would put on matches. It all ended with everyone using them as pillows to beat each other with, but pre-mind fart, the matches you put on were epic!

Don't tell me you didn't recreate the Wrestlemania VII moment, and do the flying elbow off the arm of the couch onto the Ultimate Warrior 5 times. You did, so did I, and so did everyone else! Why? Because we're men and men didn't play with stuffed animals, we beat the shit out of them.

Wrestling Buddies, I salute you!

Rumor Alert - Jeff Hardy Taking his Ball and Going Home?

There's a rumor going around that Jeff Hardy won't sign an extension on his existing WWE contract that expires in July. Apparently Hardy wants to take some time off and feels financially secure. What do you guys think?

On This Day in Wrestling History...

April 21st, 2002 - Hulk Hogan defeated Triple H for the WWE Unified Heavyweight title.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Monday Night Raw Review 4/20

Whenever there's a show before a PPV, THAT should be the show that makes you salivate at the mouth to purchase the PPV because you can't wait to see what happens next. Did the RAW brand deliver on this with tonight's episode? Partially, but I can't help but feel a little robbed of my intelligence. Sure, we (wrestling fans) are ADD, forgetful (on purpose), and we keep coming back for more, but that shouldn't make the writers sit in cruise control and do the same crap all the time.

With that said, RAW brought it tonight to London, England. The set was very London-esque with the stereotypical phone booths and rounded 1960's car. The crowd was pumped and seemed louder than a typical US crowd, often clearly telling the WWE who they liked and hated. At the top of the show, I said to myself "RAW is completely different from Smackdown! (in a bad way)," but after tonight, I think they took a page from Smackdown's all wrestling, little drama approach. I think the WWE is turning a corner a bit. It may be predictable, it may insult our intelligence, but it's wrestling none the less. It's a hell of alot better than Vicky Guerrero's love triangle though, so let's see how the night played out...

Chris Jericho opened the show claiming that this was his final RAW appearance, and that he's glad because he was never appreciated. Ricky Steamboat's music hits, and he and Jericho trade words for a bit, then Jericho challenges Steamboat to a match Sunday at "Backlash." John Cena then interrupts and Jericho cuts him off before he can say a word, and starts to walk backstage. Steamboat then says that he accepts the challenge which garners a sly smirk from Jericho. John Cena, after Steamboat, then says that since Vicky Guerrero is not at RAW tonight, they're going to have a match to send him (Jericho) off to Smackdown!.

There's something I just don't get....why do all of you boo Cena? Are you sick of him being the face of the WWE? I can't help but like the guy because he's all about the business and I applaud that. Sure, he can get a little corny sometimes, his rap skills suck, "The Marine" and "12 Rounds" suck, but the guy's a beast that gives his all night in and night out. Plus, did all of you get on Hulk Hogan for Suburban Commando? I don't think so (I secretly liked that movie). I'm one of you, but I'll never understand the mentality of the wrestling masses. I think you're all waiting for Cena to go heel, which I agree, would be awesome, but I don't think it's happening anytime soon. The WWE needs a big babyface, Cena's perfect for the role.

Batista vs. Chavo

The entrances of the two took longer than this entire match. Chavo went running at Batista who then nailed him, then gave him a Batista Bomb for the win. Why did the WWE waste space with Chavo? If you're going to commit to Chavo as a jobber, I'd rather see a "Barry Horowitz" than a Chavo. Make a new jobber, don't take someone from your ranks and then give him jobber status. I know what some of you are saying, "Chavo has always been a jobber." Well not a 10 second match type jobber...

Kane vs. CM Punk

I'm not sure why, but I just can't get into CM Punk. He's a good wrestler, executes some killer moves, but I just think his gimmick is boring. Maybe it's the fact that his music (screaming) is extremely lame. On the other hand, Kane is officially a mid-card wrestler. It's a sad thing to see too. Where's the old Kane that would slowly walk down the aisle, stalk his prey, and dominate them? Instead, he's an ugly human being (not a super power) who acts tough, but always loses. Punk had a great counter DDT for the win, but would the old Kane lose like that to a DDT? Not a chance...

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

"sandwich break"

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

This match was the best of the night. Again, Cena got alot of boos, but when he did the "five knuckle shuffle,(google that for me)" the fans chanted loudly "you can't see me!" See what I told you? ADD...

The match went back and forth for a lengthy period of time (which now equals a good match in today's standards), and both wrestler's kicked out of each other's finishers and didn't tap to their secondary finishers. I think the WWE saw everyone's reaction to Taker / HBK at Wrestlemania 25, but this one felt totally scripted. Jericho would hit the code breaker (which is an awesome finisher btw), and then take his time, because he's tired, to make the cover resulting in Cena kicking out. Then Cena would hit his FU, and again, take his time to make the cover resulting in Jericho kicking out.

Cena would then get the STFU on Jericho and he wouldn't tap, then Jericho would get Cena in the Walls of Jericho (lion tamer was a better name), and Cena wouldn't tap. This is a classic case of the WWE screwing up a good thing they had with the match at Wrestlemania 25. We didn't expect HBK or Undertaker to kick out. They could've gone either way, and it floored us the entire time. With Cena / Jericho we knew what was going to happen the entire time. The writers have to think this stuff through. But they won't because they think so top line and without any depth. I guarantee you that creative was sitting in a room and mentioned "people loved what happened with Taker and HBK, we should shock them with both wrestlers kicking out of their respective finishers." Ok, maybe they didn't use the words "respective finishers."

Anyway, I'm griping, but it really was a good match (don't you believe me now? haha). Edge came in to ruin the party, but that's the WWE right now. They use Edge to do this type of crap and instead of using him as a fantastic wrestler (which he is), they have him end a match that both wrestlers worked their tails off in. "Couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?" - "Johnny" in the Karate Kid.

Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show

Before going into this one, I thought to myself "If they make Mysterio win this match, I'm going to keep watching because I have nothing else better to do." I said last week that I'd like to see Big Show go on a little bit of a run, and it looks like he's doing just that. I'm now sold on the "knockout punch," and he did exactly what he should have done to Mysterio, destroyed him. There were some great "big man" moments in this match, most notably Big Show palming Mysterio's head from outside the ring and lifting him up over the top rope. If you get a chance to see that on YouTube, do it. It looked awesome and really made you feel like you were watching a "giant."

Triple H vs. Randy Orton

This was announced as a no DQ match last week which I think everyone in the world knew that it wouldn't end cleanly. You just knew Rhodes and DiBiase would get involved, and likewise with McMahon and Batista setting up the classic mini-battle royal to lead up to a stable vs. stable main event at a PPV. It's a proven formula. The actual match before that chaos was pretty good. I actually wouldn't mind seeing these two in a main event (singles) competition again because of it (it erased my thoughts on the underwhelming Wrestlemania 25 Main Event). I think the Backlash main event is a cop out, and in no way am I ordering the PPV to see this match. I have a feeling Batista's going to turn on Triple H, but we'll see.

There were a few things in this match that was all sorts of awesome. Triple H's spine buster on Orton onto the trash can and Triple H's figure four were my two main highlights, but let's go back to all of that chaos I mentioned in the previous paragraph to find out the result of this one.

When everyone who will be in the Backlash main event interrupted the match, Batista accidentally speared Shane giving Triple H an excuse to turn his back on Orton. Once this happened, did anyone who was watching not know that Orton would hit his RKO? Seriously, I'm sick of these results. I don't mind at all if Orton wins cleanly, but you've had this result about 1270273189047389278423902317908412378940321890324 times. Please be original. This just kills momentum that you have built up throughout a pretty good show when you end like this. There's no chance that the talent is enjoying this writing. No chance.

Overall I enjoyed the show. I know I complained, but that's me. I could look past the writing tonight and see that the talent gave an A+ effort. They're only as good as the creative makes them, but tonight they overshadowed the creative brown stain.

We have WWE Superstars and Friday Night Smackdown! left to make us feel like we should plunk down our change to order Backlash. RAW brought it tonight. Your turn Wednesday and Friday...

Random Notes:

- It's cool to see the Jericho / Steamboat angle considering Jericho's a HUGE Steamboat fan. Watch the "Greatest Superstars of the 80's" DVD to hear him go on and on about Ricky.

The WWE plugged "The Wrestler" DVD release throughout the show. Mighty big of them. I think they realized that any publicity on their business is good publicity.

- Lawler was on FIRE tonight. He had some gems. "London is such a historic city (understatement of the year)," and his ribbing of Jericho's former band, "Fozzy" were two of my favorites.

- I really wish they'd go back to cutting promos with an interviewer instead of making us think that there happens to be a camera where an intimate conversation, like the one Rhodes, Orton and DiBiase had, happened. The hidden camera approach sucks.

- Santino's skit with his "sister" "Santina" was epic. Santino pulled a Milli Vanilli. (Wrestlecrap)

- When RAW did their "WWE Slam of the Week" segment, they showed Shane's "coast to coast" that he attempted to do on last week's WWE Superstars. He doesn't get over as far as he used to...

- Cody Rhodes has a lisp like his father and it is fantastic!

- During the Orton / Triple H match, Michael Cole said "Orton's been waiting 5 years for this opportunity." Really? At Backlash? Didn't he have his "opportunity" at Wrestlemania? That's just poor writing there and not believable.

RAW 4/20 Review Tonight!

Raw invades the 02 Arena in London, England tonight! Make sure to come back to H4B after the show for our detailed (and probably sarcastic) RAW review!

"The Wrestler" DVD / Blu-Ray on Sale Tomorrow

If you haven't seen "The Wrestler" in the theater, you're a fool and I'm wondering why you're reading this. Luckily, the DVD gods have saved you because the movie releases in stores everywhere tomorrow on both DVD and Blu-Ray. I'll post a review of the Blu-Ray (version I'm buying) version tomorrow, but it will be a review of the overall package of the Blu-Ray, not the movie itself. You can lookup Roger Ebert's review for that one.

NOTE: If you haven't seen the movie, and you'd like to know how accurate it is, check out a few of the legend's thoughts on the film.

On This Day in Wrestling History...

April 20th, 1998 - Goldberg defeated Raven for the WCW US Heavyweight title.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

TNA (Lethal) Lockdown PPV Results! (New Champ)

While I wasn't able to watch the show due to a prior engagement, I do know the results. Here they are if you want to see them....


Hardcore Legend Mick Foley vs. (c) "The Icon" Sting


Team Angle (Kurt Angle, Booker T, Scott Steiner & Kevin Nash) vs. Team Jarrett (Jeff Jarrett, AJ Styles, Samoa Joe & Daniels)

WINNERS: Team Jarrett (Bobby Lashley makes his debut)

Team 3D vs. (c) Beer Money, Inc


Black Machismo vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed vs. Kiyoshi vs. (c) Suicide

WINNER: Suicide


Taylor Wilde vs. Angelina Love vs. (c) Awesome Kong

WINNER: Angelina Love

ODB vs. Madison Rayne vs. Daffney vs. Sojo Bolt


The Latin American Xchange vs. No Limit vs. (c) The Motor City Machineguns

WINNERS: Moter City Machineguns

Doomsday Chamber of Blood
Abyss vs. Matt Morgan

WINNER: Matt Morgan

Mr. "I Take Wrestling Way Too Seriously"

Go to YouTube, type in "wrestling figures," and what's the first thing you see? Yeah, I thought so...

I was a huge fan of wrestling figures when I was a kid (probably would still purchase some). I had all of them (except the Nasty Boys). I'd stand up and pretend my eyes were the camera as I did a fly around the arena (aka my living room) while doing my best Gorilla Monsoon voice. I bought the WWE entrance theme CDs, and would play them whenever I'd have a wrestler come out from under my chair (poor man's titan tron). I remember the awkward pause in between getting my figure ready for the squared circle, and myself pressing the right track for the wrestler's entrance music. It was quite embarrassing in my 12 yr. old mind if I messed up and mistakingly selected The Rock's music for Stone Cold, but in the days of no iPod, that's what you did. It didn't matter though, it was practically real in my mind....

With that said, there's no excuse for putting your imagination on the net for everyone to see! Seriously? Seriously! What's up with this? Just watching this travesty of childhood imagination makes me feel like I got robbed as a child. To actually put together a video like this gives YOU, Mr. "Wrestling Figures Guy," the title of "Mr. I Take Wrestling Way Too Seriously" for this week.

The effort of this video (and there's plenty more, so this isn't a one-off) is depressing for everyone. Play a video game....

Because I like to contradict myself though, I'm going to follow one of these wrestling figure federations (TEFW) for Headlocks 4 Breakfast. I think they're having a PPV shortly (WTF!)...

TNA (Lethal) Lockdown on PPV Tonight!

TNA will be holding its annual "Lockdown" PPV tonight at 8 PM EST / 5 PM PST. Like I said previously, I won't be able to watch this live because of a prior engagement. I will however post a review once I've seen the encore. When that is, not sure, but I will :)

Anyway, this is the official card (should be a good one):

Hardcore Legend Mick Foley vs. (c) "The Icon" Sting

Team Angle (Kurt Angle, Booker T, Scott Steiner & Kevin Nash) vs. Team Jarrett (Jeff Jarrett, AJ Styles, Samoa Joe & Daniels)

Team 3D vs. (c) Beer Money, Inc

Black Machismo vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed vs. Kiyoshi vs. (c) Suicide


Taylor Wilde vs. Angelina Love vs. (c) Awesome Kong

ODB vs. Madison Rayne vs. Daffney vs. Sojo Bolt

The Latin American Xchange vs. No Limit vs. (c) The Motor City Machineguns

On This Day in Wrestling History...

April 19th, 1998 - Randy Savage defeated Sting for the WCW World Heavyweight title.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

On This Day in Wrestling History...

April 18th, 1987 - Mike Rotundo aka "IRS" (I know it's Mike Rotund(a), but his gimmick at the time was Rotund(o)) defeated Sir Oliver Humperdink for the NWA Florida State Heavyweight title.

Friday Night Smackdown! Review 4/17

With only a week and 2 days left until "Backlash," and 4 days removed from the WWE "Draft" on RAW, Smackdown! was determined to make us buy that damn PPV, and I'll tell you what, they really worked their asses off!

If you didn't get to watch last night's Smackdown!, then you missed 2 hours of ALMOST wall to wall wrestling action. This show was packed to the gills with young talent that's sure to be the future of the WWE. The show also only had one "sandwich break!" (I'll explain later) Let's get on to the matches shall we?!

Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show

Smackdown! opened up with Jeff Hardy coming to the ring for a MATCH. Not to talk, not to spend the next 15 minutes in a promo, but to wrestle. Big Show came out next, and it was on. The match had your typical aerial maneuvers by Hardy, and your "I'm a big dude, so I move slowly and just use my weight" moves by Big Show. One thing that bothers me is that the WWE uses Big Show in a predictable fashion sometimes. Do you notice that every time his opponent is near the ropes and he (Big Show) gears up to run at him, the guy just drops to the apron sending Big Show over the top rope? You don't think we see it coming WWE, but we do! I'd also like to see Big Show go on a little undefeated streak. When I used to see guys like him, I used to think they couldn't be beaten. Now I KNOW they can be beaten and it's just a bit sad (just a little).

During Big Show's matches, the commentators are always talking about how he's "the largest professional athlete," and "an unstoppable force!" Well, use him like that. Let the biggest stars in the WWE only beat him, and in PPVs only for that matter. With that said, Big Show won the match (did I just contradict myself?) with his "knockout punch." The match was good and clean. Smackdown! was starting off on the right foot.

Side Note: Matt Hardy came down to the ring to distract Jeff Hardy, but Jeff would have nothing of it jumping over the top rope and onto Matt leaving him down for the remainder of the match.

Maryse vs. Gail Kim

"sandwich break"

R-Truth vs. John Morrison

You knew that when they promoted this match before the commercial break, that it was going to be a good one, and it was. I'm so happy to see Morrison in singles competition, and JR alluded to him possibly making a run on Smackdown!. R-Truth actually was the show stealer in this match though. He performed outstanding athletic moves that made the audience cheer while mixing in the occasional "Wassup?!" chant. After all of R-Truth's work, Morrison hit his "moonlight drive" quickly to win the match. It was a fun match to watch , but that's because R-Truth's work overshadowed what the WWE did for the match. They had a nice opportunity to have both of them go back and forth, but instead chose to go the usual route of having the eventual winner get beat down until an opportunistic moment for him to hit his finisher for the win. It feels like a cop out.

Shelton Benjamin vs. The Undertaker

This is the first time I've seen the Undertaker since Wrestlemania 25 (WWE Superstars doesn't air in Canada until Sunday). Shelton Benjamin was a perfect opponent for him though. Benjamin's always been an incredible wrestler, but his mic skills are terrible leaving him in low to mid-card status for eternity. The Undertaker was apparently nursing a "neck injury" which left him vulnerable throughout the match. Benjamin took advantage of it hitting a devastating neck breaker that would change the momentum a bit. Benjamin, showing his cockiness (good writing), tried to go for a tombstone, but it was reversed by the Undertaker into a tombstone of his own to win the match.

MVP vs. Dolph Ziggler

This was my favorite match of the night. I love MVP as a face, and Dolph Ziggler is that perfect narcissistic heel. They went back and forth the whole match, and it looked like Ziggler was actually outperforming MVP, who seems like he's put on a little baby fat. The crowd didn't react much to MVP's call for support (stupid fans), but he did his usual ring gimmicks anyway ("Ballin!"). Ziggler won the match on a roll up for a pin while grabbing the tights. I loved the classic heel pulling the tights. It's a clean win, but not really which makes it great!

Batista vs. Ted DiBiase

It's good to see Batista back in a WWE ring, and I was pretty excited for this matchup. I think Ted DiBiase is already a phenomenal wrestler, and he proved it in this match. DiBiase always uses the ring well, working all four corners and focusing on individual body parts. This match was like the R-Truth vs. Morrison match though, with DiBiase winning the whole way until Batista hit his spinebuster which sent him into his "routine" (I hate those btw) resulting in a Batista Bomb for the win.

DiBiase really shined in this match, and I think the audience felt that he deserved the win for the effort he put in. Please WWE, make him JUST like his father. He's perfect for it. He wore red trunks tonight, but it just looked wrong. Keep him in black trunks.

Overall, I really enjoyed Smackdown! significantly over RAW this past Monday. Why? Because it had WRESTLING in it. Not tons of crap (they had promos too btw), but WRESTLING. I know I usually have my sarcastic undertones to show reviews, but I have to hand it to the WWE, Smackdown! was good. It may not have been the best wrestling in the world, but I don't know if I know what that is anymore.....

WWE fans, if you're looking for which show to watch between RAW and Smackdown! post-draft / Wrestlemania, I have Smackdown! 1, RAW 0.

Random Notes:

- Matt Hardy loves being a heel. You can just see it in his eyes.

- The Great Khali "Kiss Cam" is "wrestlecrap," and he could be used so much better!

- The Triple H / Orton "Face-Off" was out of place. I know they're trying to hype "Backlash," but it just broke up the momentum of the show. I think no matter how hard the WWE tries to promote this "personal" match, it's not working. Triple H won at Wrestlemania. Orton should be gunning for him, not the other way around.

- R-Truth sounds like DMX when he raps

- Triple H's entrance is still the best in the biz

- The "I Quit" match announced at "Backlash" between the Hardy's has the potential to be GREAT!

- The Undertaker is still going strong, but I don't want to see him as a human. He's a "dead man." Stop having him move around like a MMA fighter, and instead slowly creep towards his opponents.

- MVP to RAW is upsetting now that there's tons of talent on Smackdown! (US title's a joke)

Friday, April 17, 2009

Work Week is Over, but Headlocks 4 Breakfast ContinuesThis Weekend!

I thank all of you for supporting Headlocks 4 Breakfast in its first week! Be sure to follow along during the weekend where I'll post a Friday Night Smackdown! review, impressions of "Legends of Wrestlemania" the videogame, and another edition of "Mr. I Take Wrestling Way Too Seriously!"

Once again, thank you!

"Yo" Taz(z) Speaks! (The Universe Continues to not Care)

Just in-case you haven't read my thoughts on Taz's / Milt McGee's announcement that he's now on Facebook, read here for context.

FINALLY, Taz has released his long awaited announcement. "Tazmania" didn't know what to do with themselves since they hadn't heard from him in so long. Here's the full writeup, afterwards I'll have my usual (thanks jimanju ;) ) commentary because I just can't help it.

"Yo, Well, after leaving WWE recently, I would like to make my first public comments here on the page. I would like to thank the Pro Wrestling fan base for the support through all my years with ECW & WWE! I especially want to thank all of you on this Facebook fan page from all over the world! I try to read most of your comments and I am truly flattered on how many of you supported what I did in the real ECW and my broadcasting accomplishments in WWE. Lets face it, after my debut at MSG vs the great Kurt Angle their wasn't much for me to "hang my hat on" as a wrestler during my tenure wrestling for WWE. Now, I want to clear up some "true & false" for all of you.... TRUE -My contract expired the end of March and I had given my notice several weeks prior -I ask WWE for my release to pursue other interest -I offered to call Wrestlemania while I was not contractually obligated....and offered to call the show for free to the company. -I have fulfilled EVERY obligation to the WWE, and pride myself on leaving the proper/professional way. -On my way out, from Vince McMahon, Kevin Dunn & Stephanie ALL treated me great...which was cool. -I APPRECIATE all of the offers for appearances but right now I'm just doing very few appearances (if any). I'm gonna chill out and watch my kid hit baseballs. -I am done wrestling. At 41 years old, several neck and shoulder issues...not happening. I would be a former shell of myself. -I too have hated the extra "Z" FALSE -Burnout (If anything, I'm more inspired & motivated now than ever) Hopefully that clears up some things people were saying in regards to my situation. Also, I have had the opportunity of becoming friends with so many talented & awesome people within the WWE while working there for nearly 10 years and will miss many of them! I would like to thank the writers, road & studio crew and all the talent...especially guys I have a closer friendship with. I especially want thank three of the main play by play guys I've work with. Joey Styles -A dear friend whom I've been goombas with for 15 years and will stay friends with! I felt Joey never had a chance to truly be "Joey Styles" in WWE as an announce talent...that's a shame. But the announce style is completely different than anything Joey ever really did in the business....tough to adapt. Jim Ross -The best of the best! True Hall of Famer and a man I respect and appreciate. I cannot thank him enough for all he has taught me as an of recent JR & I were the Smack announce team and were doing a strong job in my view....we have shared some good times on many road trips as of recent...BOOMER SOONER!! And I'm a Nebraska Husker fan (lol) Micheal Cole -One of my best friends...a guy that truly gave me the confidence to excel as a color commentator years ago in WWE...Cole taught me how to get over the talent, the storylines and get over the brand! He was the only one that had the balls to flat out say to me "its not about you anymore"...I respect that. Amazing work ethic, always would try to find a way for me to get over on ego & underrated! I been hearing that Cole has been getting bashed by some on-line fans lately- check this out, if you work at McDonald's and your boss wants you to cook BicMac' than go and cook BIG MACS! Anyway, I look forward to working with Cole in the future in some capacity be it TV or Radio. I want thank World Wrestling Entertainment and the McMahon Family for all the years and all the opportunities...they allowed me a great ride which I truly appreciate. In closing, I've been in the Pro Wrestling business for 23 years and I don't plan on disappearing anytime soon. I plan to make an impact real soon in this, the ultimate in businesses and keep it's for crossing the line with my sophomoric humor! Survive if I let you. FTW Taz"

First off, "Yo?" You have your pool boy "Milt McGee" (pen name) post for you because you can't figure out the world wide web, and when he finally shows you how to write on a computer screen, the first thing you say to your "Tazmaniacs" is "Yo?" Also, what's with the exclamation marks?(!) Taz writes on Joey Styles, "A dear friend whom I've been goombas (weren't those the little brown things in Mario?) with for 15 years and will stay friends with!" Cool Taz, but why are you shouting at me?

He also breaks down bullet-point style with the headers "TRUE" and "False." Did he take a lie detector test before telling the "Tazmaniacs" about these specific things? He also says "I APPRECIATE all of the offers for appearances but right now I'm just doing very few appearances (if any)." Firstly, does he think that the people he's turned down for appearances (Chuck E' Cheese and the Spokane, WA mall) are actually on Facebook awaiting the answer to their inquiries?

1) They have businesses to run, so they can't be worried about Facebook
2) Taz must have already told them, so he's just gloating about getting asked to do appearances

Micheal Cole is also his "best friend." Well, if he's your best friend, then why did you spell his first name wrong? (Michael) And if he taught you the ins and outs of announcing, no wonder you're not working in the WWE anymore....

Two more things before I end the last note ever about Taz on this blog. (probably not)

Taz probably used the greatest analogy ever when referring to "on-line (why the hyphen) fans" bashing Cole. Taz writes "I been hearing that Cole has been getting bashed by some on-line fans lately- check this out, if you work at McDonald's and your boss wants you to cook BicMac' than go and cook BIG MACS!" How the hell did Taz, with all of those grammatical errors in that one sentence, get that "McDonald's" had an apostrophe in it? That's skill buddy.

The last thing that really makes me laugh is the fact that he had to state that he hates it when people spell his WRESTLING name with an extra "z." First off Peter Senercia (Taz's real name), you've been "Tazz" forever. Don't believe me? Do a search for "Taz" and what do you find? The "Tazmanian Devil." Do a search for "Tazz" and what do you find? YOU! The internet doesn't lie.... Plus, you picked a name that was a long-established cartoon character, that's your fault.

Enough with you Taz(z). I now am paranoid about using hyphens, exclamation marks and where and when I'm using commas. That's what I learned from your Facebook post. What did all of you "Tazmaniacs" learn?

TNA iMPACT! Review 4/16

With only 3 days until TNA's annual (Lethal) "Lockdown" PPV, something had to happen on TNA iMPACT! in order for us to be remotely interested in buying it right? Well rest assured, something did happen. An entire 2 hour show happened. We were promised from "Double-J" that there would be a major announcement on iMPACT! that would change the main event of "Lockdown" significantly. Team Jarrett was going to have a new member for the PPV.

Earlier in the day, there were rumors of text messages being sent to fans (who must've subscribed to TNA's mobile news feed -- which makes me wonder the kind of person who absolutely needs TNA news at every second of the day...) claiming that "Double-J" said that the person be selected for Team Jarrett was a "former TNA champion." My fingers were crossed for Ken Shamrock....

Anyway, let's get to the show.

Chris Sabin vs. Homicide vs. Naito

Sabin accompanied by his Motor City Machineguns partner came out first. I can't help but feel like The Miz and John Morrison as a tag team were copies of the Machineguns....

Sterotypical Japanese music started to play so I instantly knew it was No Limit. Why is it that wrestlers "from Japan" always have to have the same music? Wouldn't it be much more effective to have No Limit come out to "Make 'em say uhh" by Master P? They are "No Limit" after all. LAX then came out to complete the participants in the match.

It was a pretty intense match overall with tons of acrobatical maneuvers. One thing I can say is that while Homicide can certainly perform offensively, he's terrible at taking bumps. There was one instance where he flew over the steel barrier and into the crowd. There was a wall about 6 feet away which he was supposed to hit head first into. The move came up short, so he took about 5 steps running himself into the wall. It was pretty hilarious. Throught the entire match though, Homicide would brush off moves pulled on him as if he were the Ultimate Warrior (Warrior got hell for this from other wrestlers). I will give him this though, his 187 finisher is fantastic as it was performed beautifully for the victory.

Taylor Wilde, Awesome Kong, Raisha Saeed vs. Beautiful People

"Sandwich Break." You know my thoughts on women's wrestling. Although, Velvet Sky is actually a "knockout."

ODB and Cody Deaner vs. Abyss and Daffney

Althought ODB is technically a man (at least TNA would like us to think so), this match involved Knockouts so it was another "sandwich break." Peanut butter and jelly this time.....

SIDE NOTE: You secretly think ODB's hot right? Right?

Kurt Angle vs. Mystery Man(?)

"Double-J" came out to the ring and introduced Christopher Daniels as the new member of Team Jarrett. The crowd went crazy. I was pretty happy with the decision. Although Daniels looks like an unpainted member of the Blue Man Group, I dig his wrestling ability. This was a fantastic match with an even better ending. Daniels appeared to have rolled up Angle for the win, but after Angle repeatedly complained, "Double-J" came out and looked at the replay which clearly showed that Angle's shoulder wasn't on the mat. "Double-J" restarted the match and Angle won. Good surprising ending to the match which was a breath of fresh air. A clean match with a little drama for once!

I wasn't that impressed with this edition of iMPACT!(!) It's the show before a PPV, so it should rock right? It didn't in my opinion because two matches had knockouts, and Balls Mahoney and Brother "spike dudley" Runt should never take up air time. With that said, the PPV does look pretty interesting so I'll check out the encore because I have a commitment with my wife on Sunday night. It's called life.

Random Notes:

- Is it weird that AJ Styles is the "Legends Champion?" I'm just saying....

- The voice of TNA (narrator) is fantastic.

- The camerawork of TNA iMPACT! makes me dizzy.

- MEM's (Main Event Mafia) entrance music is ridiculous. It's a poor man's version of "The Godfather" theme, only it was done on a 20 dollar toy keyboard.

- It's hard to take Suicide seriously when we played as him in the videogame. Although, I'm always asking for new gimmicks so I can't fault TNA. Suicide is pretty damn interesting.

- Promo's seem better on TNA than WWE. The wrestler's seem more into it. It could be the intimate setting of the "IMPACT Zone" in Orlando...

- Funny how in the WWE wrestlers show up in a limo or monster truck, but in TNA, it's a taxi cab.

- Cornett's office is the only "office" that makes sense in wrestling because 90% of TNA iMPACT! shows are in Orlando.

- TNA is now on iTunes. They're really good at promoting their company (XBOX LIVE and iTunes FTW!)

- ODB's flask is awesome. You know there's nothing in there so it reminds me of being 3 and playing with "fun food."

- "Doulbe-J's" new DVD doesn't look bad at all

- Team 3D (Dudley Boys) considered a "legendary tag team?" Really?

- Have you heard of the IWGP titles? I didn't think so....

- I feel sad for Mick Foley. He can still promo, but those sweats are starting to look like spandex, which isn't a good thing.

- "Lions and tigers and bears, Oh My!" - quote on TNA iMPACT!

- Sting wants to look like the Joker (purple robe)

- I hate wrestlers who are just paid to bleed (Balls Mahoney and Brother "spike dudley" Runt)

- Angle's weight loss is dramatic. Is he gearing up for a MMA run?

- "Umaga" Joe

- Danny this TNA's answer to Mickey Rourke in the WWE? If so = Fail

On This Day in Wrestling History.....

April 17th, 1998 - WCW filed suit in Fulton County Superior Court against Ric Flair for breech of contract


"After missing a Nitro show to attend his son's amateur wrestling event, Flair was held in breach of contract and kept off WCW Television until September 1998"

Note: This pic is FANTASTIC!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

WWE Superstars Review: The Debut Show 4/16

First, let me say that I had no expectations for this show. As a kid I sat through endless episodes of Sunday Night Heat holding onto hope that one day a main event type match would take place and I was left with disappointment. Despite questioning whether or not the quality of the show will be maintained, the only show where you can see superstars from RAW, ECW, and Smackdown had a promising debut. Let’s take a look at the night’s matches.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

I was shocked to hear the show open with the distinctive music of the Undertaker as he walked to the ring to in his first public appearance since beating Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania. Matt Hardy came down to the ring and it was clear from the start that he was going to be the heel yet again. Seeing Hardy in this role is somewhat hard for me to believe because I have met him in person and he was an all around nice guy. Regardless, Matt does a good job of selling it.

The Undertaker dominated the match from the beginning and sat Hardy up for the finisher before he crawled out of the ring and intentionally caused himself to be counted out. As Matt walked up the ramp with the entire crowd booing him, his brother Jeff ran out and attacked him. The two fought back in forth, before Matt ran into the ring and into the arms of the Undertaker who delivered a devastating choke slam to end Hardy’s night.

Christian vs. Finlay

These two were fighting for more than just pride as the winner would go on to Backlash to face ECW Champion Jack Swagger for the belt. Christian is the type of guy who can carry a match against anyone he is facing and adjusts well to their style. The match started out as a hard nose technical battle just how Finlay likes it. Finlay continued to force a physical match, but made a critical error after running Christian into the corner and was finished off with the "Killswitch."

I get the fact that Christian is a “fresh” face in the WWE again, but he needs to be on RAW. He has always been a main event attraction and that is why Vince brought him back. If you’re going to bring the guy back, then give him the push that he deserves and the fans want! Anyone who questions my thought process here, go back and watch any of his matches at TNA and/or his classic WWE matches.

Shane-O-Mac vs. Cody Rhodes

First things first, Shane might have my favorite entrance in wrestling. Let’s face it, Shane is not your typical athlete, but he is a great showman and will serve the company well along with his sister when it is time for Vince to pass the torch. Should I buy a Shane-O-Mac shirt?

The match started out with Shane taking the fight to Cody and even showing some submission skills. He put Cody in an arm bar triangle. Can you believe it? Shane continued to take the fight to Cody and rammed his head and left arm into the ring post and continued to work on the arm in the ring. For a second, I thought Shane paid for lessons at the Dean Malenko School of Wrestling.

Shane continued to force the action with his high flying offensive attack and dropped Rhodes to the concrete floor outside of the ring. After five minutes of domination, we all knew that it was time for Shane to take a bit of a beat down and that’s what happened. Rhodes choked and taunted Shane repeatedly and had the match well in hand before he let his cockiness get in the way. He bulldogged Shane from the top of the ropes, continuously kicked him in the ribs, tried to beat Shane with a steel chair and punched him in the face. After being thrown out of the ring, Shane grabbed the steel chair and beat Rhodes with it. That was just the beginning. Shane then grabbed a trashcan, put the can over Rhodes head, and hit him with the “Coast to Coast.”

What a way to end the show! I like the angle of using the McMahons with Triple H and showing the family unity, but I’m curious to see how they are going to play this out at Backlash. I wouldn’t be shocked if someone (Batista) does not turn their back on Triple H and cost him the title. The feud has to end somewhere and take the focus off of the McMahons. Seriously, Vince is 63 years old and still out there performing at a high level. It’s time to give the guy a break.

WWE Superstars (New WWE TV Show)

Just in-case you didn't have enough wrestling on TV, the WWE saves the day and decides to give us all another show to not watch if it sucks ("Heat"). "WWE Superstars" will air every Thursday night at 8 PM EST / 5 PM PST on WGN. Hopefully, this revival of a classic tv show will be up to snuff.

So when I say "you can watch," I actually mean people living in the United States. Unfortunately, because I live in Canada, I have to wait until Sunday to watch.

Therefore, my brother-in-law, Justin Dewiel, will be posting a review for all of you. Yes, we're a regular family business now. So, to recap this novel that I wrote, I'll be covering TNA IMPACT! tonight, while Justin will be following along with WWE Superstars.

Thanks wrestling for so much TV....

THIS is Impressive! (Fire Pro Wrestling)

Have you guys heard of a game called "Fire Pro Wrestling?" They DON'T have the WWE license and users have been able to do things like the video you see below. If you guys have the opportunity to pick this game up (rare), do it. It's for the PS2, but it looks to be worth it. I just can't get over this video!

On This Day in Wrestling History.....

April 16th, 2001 - Triple H defeated Jeff Hardy for the WWE Intercontinental title

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

TNA iMPACT! Review Tomorrow Night!(!!!!)

We're 4 days away from TNA's PPV "Lockdown" on Sunday! With that said, TNA iMPACT! should be a pretty good show if they want to get you to plunk down your money for their monthly "slobberknocker!" I'll post my review tomorrow night after the show, and you can guarantee that it'll include plenty of exclamation marks because after all, it is TNA iMPACT!!

For Those of you who Care.....

Here is the complete list of post-draft rosters by brand. The WWE held their "Supplemental Draft" today on There were some interesting moves and of course, stupid ones. Thanks to who provided the list.


WWE Champion Triple H
United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter
Divas Champion Maryse
Matt Hardy
Big Show
The Miz
Mr. Kennedy
WWE & World Tag Team Champion Primo
Nikki Bella
Chavo Guerrero
WWE & World Tag Team Champion Carlito
The Brian Kendrick
Brie Bella
World Champion John Cena
Beth Phoenix
Cody Rhodes
Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Jamie Noble
Jerry Lawler
Kelly Kelly
Kofi Kingston
Lilian Garcia
Michael Cole
Mickie James
Mr. McMahon
Randy Orton
Rosa Mendes
Santino Marella
Shawn Michaels
Sim Snuka
Ted DiBiase
Vickie Guerrero
William Regal


Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio
Women's Champion Melina
CM Punk
Chris Jericho
Alicia Fox
Mike Knox
Candice Michelle
Ricky Ortiz
John Morrison
Dolph Ziggler
Charlie Haas
Curt Hawkins
Gail Kim
Jeff Hardy
Jim Ross
Jimmy Wang Yang
Justin Roberts
Kung Fu Naki
Michelle McCool
Ranjin Singh
Shelton Benjamin
The Great Khali
Theodore Long
Todd Grisham


Vladimir Kozlov
Ezekiel Jackson
Zack Ryder
DH Smith
Hurricane Helms
ECW Champion Jack Swagger
DJ Gabriel
Evan Bourne
Josh Mathews
Katie Lea Burchill
Mark Henry
Matt Striker
Paul Burchill
Tommy Dreamer
Tony Atlas
Tony Chimel
Tyson Kidd